So here's the thing. I know my writing hasn't been Pulitzer material lately and at the same time you won't find much that I write in the annals of gay sex conquests as many of the other blogs out there. So it doesn't help when I figured out that my blog is one of the few that come up on Queerfliter for Michigan. WTF.
Anyway I don't know that I will be writing differently but then again it may serve as an incentive to do so. We'll see.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Moment of what?

Well if you were looking for Zen don't look to me. I couldn't take much more than 10 minutes at Pronto tonight before I had my fill. Never mind there were plenty of people there that couldn't be bothered with me the were enough friends there to help offset anything trivial in that arena I simply don't care for the crowd. I'm not there to hook up and or meet someone. I don't know that I am ready for that anyway but I really don't expect that it will happen at a meat market bar. I was there to hang out with friends plain and simple, but the crowds weren't conducive to that. Maybe some day just not now.
Of course that begs the question that if I cannot handle P's on a regular night will I be in any position to cope with NYE. If I do go out it will be crowds of a level far greater. It is of course something that I need to think through and get my head around and also know that I can leave whenever I choose. Nevertheless I'm glad I have options and time still to decide.
Dinner with the gang was nice. Here's hoping there will be more casual gatherings, which let's face it are more my speed anyway.
Still life
Of course immediately a couple of things come to mind.
First and foremost is another

The second is more of the same. Yoga. Relaxation.

'til next time
Namaste
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Making a list
I've spent the majority of the day reflecting on the last year and thinking about the next. There are plenty of things that I cannot undo or change but there are plenty of things that I can try to get right in the coming year. Try being the key word there, my goal being progress not perfection. And while on that though perfection is certainly something to aspire toward knowing, as I do, that it is an almost unattainable goal helps temper me in my aims; wishing to simply make improvements, small though they may be at time, on a day by day basis.
I have already tried to reincorporating the gym on my daily routine. I'd like to start doing yoga on a
more regular basis as well, unfortunately neither gym offers it at a time that works for me at the moment, though I might look at adding it in at lunch - we'll see. Every time that I've practice I have felt more calm and at peace. There have even been occasions where I have been brought to tears. I truly do not fully comprehend the how's and why's of what happens but it seems to work. Besides there has been more than one occasion when I have been sore for days afterward not unlike any other good gym workout. I would try to practice by myself, as I have in the past however I am too self aware of my novice status and recognize the need to have an instructor. Having a gentle nudge from time to time can't hurt either.
Baron Baptiste is a great writer as well as yoga guru. His book is definitely not something a begin should buy and then think they can do some of the positions in without first reading the book, understanding his wisdom and the long practice. If you are luck enough to have an instructor that knows can help guide your practice I highly recommend that you stick with them and if you feel the need to expand your practice through study "Journey Into Power" is a strong book to use.

Baron Baptiste is a great writer as well as yoga guru. His book is definitely not something a begin should buy and then think they can do some of the positions in without first reading the book, understanding his wisdom and the long practice. If you are luck enough to have an instructor that knows can help guide your practice I highly recommend that you stick with them and if you feel the need to expand your practice through study "Journey Into Power" is a strong book to use.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Good intentions...

I digress...
"Suggest, Ask, Force."
Having already tried several forms of

After much swearing and a couple of trips to the Home Depot I hope to have this one task off my list.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Memoirs of a Geisha
Got to see a seek preview of 'Memoirs of a Geisha' the other night. It is definitely a movie worth seeing. The set design of the Japanese village was breath taking, particularly for one who is drawn to all things zen. It is a good story on love, loss and managing the desires of life and the realities we all live within. It is after all "not called Memoirs of an Empress"
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
I hope that everyone was able to relax and enjoy even a moment of peace today. Christmas has always been about family to me and I am glad that most of my family was home to celebrate the day together. My sis of course could not but we were able to talk for a while and her mother-in-sorta law made the trek out to San Francisco so she had some degree of family.
I am looking forward to the new year and a chance toward new starts. I have been slowly build to getting back into me. Doing things for me and get me back on track. If it means being selfish to an extent then so be it. I cannot yet trust my judgment to allow myself to begin dating again. I am still to wounded from the past year and do not want to make some of the same mistakes I’ve made.
As usual I want to try and contribute on a more regular basis to this blog. We’ll see if I keep it up or not. I may drop this all together too. If nothing I do need to learn to let go maybe here would be a good start. Time will tell.
Until next time, to all a good night.
I hope that everyone was able to relax and enjoy even a moment of peace today. Christmas has always been about family to me and I am glad that most of my family was home to celebrate the day together. My sis of course could not but we were able to talk for a while and her mother-in-sorta law made the trek out to San Francisco so she had some degree of family.
I am looking forward to the new year and a chance toward new starts. I have been slowly build to getting back into me. Doing things for me and get me back on track. If it means being selfish to an extent then so be it. I cannot yet trust my judgment to allow myself to begin dating again. I am still to wounded from the past year and do not want to make some of the same mistakes I’ve made.
As usual I want to try and contribute on a more regular basis to this blog. We’ll see if I keep it up or not. I may drop this all together too. If nothing I do need to learn to let go maybe here would be a good start. Time will tell.
Until next time, to all a good night.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
The Decompression Blog

Back from my all too brief trip to San Francisco. It was nice to get away and spend time with C&C. I was their first "real" visitor to their new place out there. Their roommate was back in St. Louis for the weekend so I even had a bed to sleep in.
Castro
Saturday we hung out in the Castro. My sis works at a laundry mat/coffee shop called Sit n' Spin which has free wi-fi so it's actually a fun place to hang-out while waiting for the spin cycle to finish. Of course you could just as easily cross the street to any one of the local bars but... Unfortunately there was a glitch on the camera I was using and all of my photos from that day in the Castro are gone. So be it
Saturday night we went bar hopping starting in North Beach (Little Italy) and working our way back to the Castro. Some of the places the girls had not yet been to, others where their favorites.
"The Bar" was a pretty cool place, we got there perhaps a bit early as the there were few boys there and the ones that were well... let's just say I was more interested in the interior decorating.

"Moby Dick" is a small little place that really would have fit in almost anywhere, with a good mix of men and women but again there wasn't much to really go crazy over, there were some handsome older guys there all the same though it was like an everyday bar. To tell the truth I was enjoying my time with the girls so it wasn't too much of a disappointment at all that the distractions were few and far between.
We took the 33, or was it the 37 back to Haight-Asbury past Twin Peaks - "My dog barks some" - and ended the evening at Traxx. Traxx is their local gay watering hole just a couple of blocks from their place. Like many of the other bars in the area it was small, but not overly crowded. I am guessing that since it was more of a bar than a club explains the majority of why there wasn't a larger gay boi contingent.
Shopping Downtown


Japanese Tea Garden
One of the places I wanted to see was the Tea Garden. The garden itself is over one hundred years old so I could never begin to hope to have such a manicured tranquil spot. I got some

In sum
All in all I had a great trip. It was completely spur of the moment and with a $200 airfare I couldn't pass it up. I was glad to spend time with my sister and her girlfriend. I know they are both a bit homesick and will not be making it back for the holidays so it was a special bonus that I did not start my new job this week. Overall my impression of San Francisco is less the gay Meccah it is made out to be and more of a progressively alternative metropolis with it's enclave of gays as any large city might have. I didn't realy go for the men which is perhaps a good thing as most seemed to be older and old school(think of some of the past stereotypes.) I saw many of the things that I set out to, it would have only been better if I had been able to bring someone with me. Maybe someday...
We now return to our regularly scheduled Blog
Ok I think I got it back to where the blog was a few days ago. My guess is there were a number of glitches that were all coming together that made for a messed up page. I am toying with the idea of reinstating some of the features I was trying to upgrade when I messed things up before. Trial and error and fewer distractions and I should be able to get this to be better than before.
I am feeling refreshed and have lots of thoughts so just as soon as I can I will try to give ya'll the skinny on my trip and all dat.
I am feeling refreshed and have lots of thoughts so just as soon as I can I will try to give ya'll the skinny on my trip and all dat.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Please stand by...
We are currently experiencing some technical difficulties,(I knew I shouldn't have tried to post while on vacation) hopefully I can figure out why I cannot see the blog. Which of course begs the question - can you? Maybe it is the computer that I am on right now and not so much the site itself. I guess I won't know for a few more days.
'til then I'll keep trying.
D
'til then I'll keep trying.
D
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Life thru Dreams
Had an interesting dream last night. It felt pretty real, but in the morning I knew it wasn't and realized that I wouldn't have done what I did in my dream. It would be nice if I could stand up for myself and take certain risks. It is a balance between getting more of what I want and risking losing what I have. Maybe some day I will although I don't know what the point of fulfillment for this particular dream would bring but perhaps it is a lesson for the future. We'll see.
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