Saturday, July 15, 2006

Home

Back from Mississippi, just in time for our own weather to be swelteringly oppressive. From all the talk I've heard in the past week this trip will either be the last for several months or the beginning of a long stint in the land time forgot. I used to think the southern accent was somewhat cute I've now come to recognize that depending upon where you are the accent can be entirely different than elsewhere. In Mississippi the accent seems to fit the look, which I find entirely unattractive. Slow, dull and some what dim witted. The greater majority look like a cross between a drunk, albeit 8AM, and a downs syndrome kid. Now I will acknowledge that I am completely stereotyping right now but one that is my prerogative and two as you read you'll notice I say seemed and greater majority if you feel the above doesn't apply to you don't take umbrage, just simply decide to be in the 98th percentile.

It could too be a simple survival instinct that I do not find the boys down there attractive, but surprisingly I think I found a second family member on this last trip. Aside from the fact she is a former Marine and negating the utter lack of femininity due to the plant environment she referred to her relationship in vague generalities and third person gender neutralities. As someone who has been there I have to tell you this is a difficult thing to maneuver. Of course I wasn't about to call her out but still I think we managed to communicate.

OK I'm rambling

'til next

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Hi Hello

I'd almost forgotten. Actually I had.

The night of my last post before this something happened. It has taken some time to get right by it. Three months later I can still recognize the after effects and upon reflection think this may be something that I take with me through the rest of my life. Even today I found myself with thoughts that would not have been a part of me before.

I will be fine that I know but things are different. I've had a fair number of adventure and travels since we last met. I've done a lot for me (who else?!?) and a lot of nothing at the same time.

There have been plenty of things that I've thought I should opine over and share with ya'll. I've also thought about dropping the blog all together. I've certainly not done much to ensure regular readership, let alone anything grander. I may never... then again.

I should share some of my pics from my recent trip to San Francisco. We'll see.

Suffice to say I'm still around. Same old me, with just a bit more time to reflect.

'til next time...

D

Friday, April 21, 2006

A Picture Share!

2006 Stanley Cup Playoffs - Round One, Home Game One

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Ah...

This is the first of what will hopefully be many from the patio. This provided the aforementioned problems do not become on going.

Yep it is that time already (already as if...). This afternoon I drug the patio furniture out and set up shop out in the back yard. The weather is perfect, the birds are singing and I'm tickled pink. Tomorrow I will break ground on the deck and soon I will have the completed another important phase of my back yard project.

What I've realized of course is that as with most things I am never satisfied. I have already devised the next the phases and am dreaming up even more. One step at a time but you never know.

As for the blog... I hope to spend a fair amount of time out here and while relaxing and listening o the radio is a good thing I wouldn't mind being able to write a bit in the process. Get on my soap box as some might say.

The truth is there have been multiple times when I have lay awake at night and realized the ramblings of my mind are similar to my writing. Of course I cannot say that one follows the other but I don't mind being able to share my point of view with some things. I am not of course an expert and intentionally avoid some topics because I know it is being read by some people that are decidedly less than anonymous.

I could of course change the blog address, add some content that may turn some of and prevent others from reading doing work but what would be the point? In a way I appreciate the fact that despite time and distance I can continue a dialogue, albeit one way, with those I don't see or talk to on a regular basis. It is in a subtle way, as this post is as well, of saying that though you are not in my life the you were that does not mean I do not think of you.

Sometimes of course more can be said with less (or perhaps with links) so look for it and enjoy.

'til then...

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Hello Huston?!?

I mentioned the other day that I had managed to get my router back up and running with the help of some cute girls from the Philippines, well this may bet to a regular affair. I've been thinking I might as well go straight anyway so it may work out. Anyway, I got home tonight and we didn't have much in the way of connectivity. So I again got to call half-way around the globe to fix my problem. I get a particular kick out of how they congratulate me when I finally do get connected. Gee thanks but really I don't need it. Maybe after I call a few times I'll know all the tricks and won't need to call, but then again...

The Gospel of Judas



The errors, or at the very least logical flaws in Digital Fortress has me wondering about The Da Vinci Code. I know it's fiction but part of what makes the story such a great seller is that it is so believable. The only problem is that if one story is so obviously flawed the other must be as well. It is by itself the best argument the Catholic Church should ever need to diffuse the conspiracy theories that get inflamed by a book like this. Makes sense doesn't it?

Anyway they'll have plenty to do spinning what is sure to come out of the Lost Gospel of Judas.

I'm not for the destruction of the church but anytime we can learn more about our past I'm all for that...

Monday, April 10, 2006

We'll be serving

Salad: Field Greens w/ Sun Dried Cherries, mandarin Oranges, Toasted sesame Bread and a Tarragon, Honey & Walnut glaze

entree: Panko encrusted Chicken w/ a Red Pepper reduction sauce, Butternut Squash Ravioli, and Haricots Vert.

Dessert: Bumpy Cake

Sunday, April 09, 2006

We have contact

It only took two hours but I finally have connection to the internet from my lap top again. This is a good thing as it will allow me to get some work done from home (not that I really want to but still...) and it just might allow me to blog a little bit more as well.

As it turns out I was have some difficulties in March and I reset my router. Apparently I need to be more careful about that as it lost the settings it needed to communicate with the modem and couldn't connect. Somewhere in the efforts to reinstall the system information it wouldn't do it so...

Linksys was pretty helpful, though I must admit I put off calling them for well over a month. I just don't like dealing with those things. OF COURSE both calls I made there I spoke with someone not of this hemisphere. It's annoying from a fundamental point of view in that I know someday my job may be there as well and more simply because many times I had to ask for them to repeat what was said. And I generally think that I can pick up on that better than most.

Anyway, now that's out of the way...

Dan Brown: Digital Fortress



Digital Fortress is one of Dan Brown's earlier novels. Having read both The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons I almost immediately recognize his style. Blending fiction with non-fiction to create a story that is both fantastical and easily imagined. There is the organization that few know much actual detail about, in this case the NSA. There is the hero, or this time the heroine and their dark mysterious foil. Not to be forgotten the hero's mate who is placed into a fair amount of peril on his own. Most importantly the plot twist(s) that reveal themselves only after a few chapters of slight of hand.

The problem of course comes when you actually know something about the subject matter. Angels & Demons and The Da Vinci Code both dealt with the Catholic Church which has always been shrouded in secrecy. It is easy to believe somethings when conspriacy has clouded the line between fact and fiction before you even get to chapter one. This of course is not to say that the NSA isn't as equally secretive but it certainly doesn't have two millenia behind it, and more importantly the 'Digital Fortress' is just a fancy computer. It's really hard to stretch the bounds of reality with something as ubiquitous as a PC. There were certain twists that I saw coming a mile away. I don't know if it because they were so obvious or Dan Bown's style is so formulaic, or both. In all the book kept my interest if only because I was curious to see if I was on the right trail.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

The end is near...

Well OK so it isn't just around the corner but it's probably closer than we would all like to think.

Increasingly over the last few years I cannot help to think that the world as we know it won't be for much longer.

Motor City No Longer

I am convinced that I will not have the same type of job 30 years from now. I don't mean that I'll be in management rather than an engineer. I mean that I do not think that I will be working in the auto industry. My job will have been long ago down sized and those that remained shipped over seas. The auto industry in the US is dying, plain and simple. There is no getting around it. If I had one single piece of advice it would be to run, don't walk, away from here. I know I've said it before, but it's worthy of restating.

My prediction: GM will be filing for bankruptcy within the next 18 months. This may not be an immediate problem but consider that the aftershocks due to the financial fall out of their bankruptcy will effect multiple companies most significantly the most vulnerable. Those tier I & II companies that are already on the brink will be pulled over the edge either directly because of the GM's filing or will fall in as the edge erodes and finds them. Even if GM survives the filing thousands will loose their jobs. Most will not be GM employees (they will have long be let go)
, no they will be the individuals that do the real work that they once thought their college degrees ensured a stable career. The world as we know it will change.

It's Getting Hot in Here

Whether I have a job or not may be entirely irrelevant given the global climate change that is currently taking place. Sure we could be a multi year cycle that will soon be cooling and stabilizing, the problem with that is if we do nothing and we are wrong, by the time we know beyond the shadow of a doubt it will have been far far too long. It has been said that if we humans stopped today there would be enough energy in the system to continue to raise the earth's average temperature by one degree. And sure it's only one degree but do you realize how much energy would be required to raise the ENTIRE earth's atmosphere by one degree. We're not talk about a small amount of energy.

The predictions are for increased and more sever weather. Greater destruction from hurricanes and tornados. Increase seasonal flooding due to higher rains and coastal erosion from the melting of the polar caps. The world as we know will change.

$100 per Barrel - HA

It won't be long before $70 a barrel is a romantic memory not a dreaded thought of thinks to come. It won't end in Iraq and the politics of it will make today seem as nothing. We will soon be fighting India and China not only for jobs but oil as well. The promise of selling millions more new cars in those two markets will come a great price, increased oil consumption. Remember too that almost everything we come into daily contact is touched by oil. Plastics, detergents, fertilizers for food, oil for heating, electricity to run your house and factories and gasoline. It's not going to be pretty. The world as we know will change.

Things aren't going well right now and I blame the present administration and its politics of fear in part for my mood. I blame the fear of the unknown too. The world is at a cross roads, my life is in flux. The world as we know it will change; I can only hope to see the other end.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Shreveport

An interesting little city. The folks are full of their southern charm and pleasant enough, the boys are cute and the accent is rather disarming. I don't know that I will have the chance to break away and visit the gay bars here (all two of 'em) but if I do maybe I'll let you know my thoughts, maybe...

I've got a better connection here at the hotel then I do at home right now (and time to kill) so you just might hear more from me this week.

'til then,

D

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Forgiveness

Friday night at the Necto.

A bunch of us did a night in A2. Dinner at the Arbor brewing company. Then dancing at the Necto. It was the first time that I had been out in a while. It was a mix of fun and stress, anxiety and pleasure.

I’m still processing the many issues of the last year and trying to get through them as best possible. I had a beer at the club which wasn’t enough to completely cut the nerves but it helped somewhat. This place can be somewhat intimidating because it is filled predominately by the 18 ~ 25 that attend university there. On the surface being surrounded by the younger crowd can make you feel a little bit older that reality. Upon reflection they lack the very experience and maturity I would want and no amount of beauty or vitality can make up for that in the long run. There were however several guys there that would, in appearance and demeanor, have those qualities and more. Maybe next time I’ll work up the never to actually talk to one of them. (I’m not big on rejection right now and also want to know they are interested so…)

In the ‘got knocked off my horse’ category I ran into A* there as well. It was nice to see him but nevertheless it was definitely the singular turbulence moment of the evening. I made a few other observations that both hurt and helped. And with most things I want to know and am afraid to. If you pick at a wound it will never heal. I’m more than ready to move on and I know that I have already made strides to do so but I still have a ton of emotions to process and plenty of healing still ahead. MGF told me that part of all of this could be made easier if I could forgive. In his words I shouldn’t be part of the hurt in this world. In a way I think that I already have but know that parts still linger. The real problem that I have is that it is hard to forgive when there isn’t an admission to guilt or even a request for forgiveness. It’s difficult when I still feel the way that I do, but easier knowing that part of me will not change and in time it will fade.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Big Bash 2006




Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center proudly celebrates 17 years of service at its single largest annual fundraising event, The Big Bash. This year we’re celebrating the people and events that fueled our past and drive our future. Upon arrival, guests will revisit both inspiring and heartbreaking moments of LGBT history displayed against the stunning backdrop of GM’s best in automotive design throughout the last 100 years.

The location is one of our area’s best-kept secrets, The GM Heritage Center. Available only for private affairs, it showcases more than 150 historically significant concept and production vehicles from as early as 1903 in a beautiful 81,000 square-foot facility. Guests will see Woodward Avenue as they’ve never seen it before!

Support Affirmations' work with gay and lesbian youth, seniors, and families by joining fellow on-lookers at this celebration of the people who inspire us. Limited Edition tickets are $250 and include complimentary valet parking, an invitation to a private, pre-event guided tour of the facility and more. Classic level tickets are $150 provide one general admission to the event. Make your reservation today by calling 248-398-7105.


When: Saturday, April 29, 2006, beginning at 6:00pm. Private tour for Limited Edition guests begins at 5:00pm.

Where:GM Heritage Center6400 Center Drive, Sterling Heights, Michigan

How Much:Classic tickets, $150Limited Edition tickets, $250 and include:
  • Complimentary valet parking
  • Invitation to the private, guided tour (begins at 5pm the same evening)
  • Special recognition in our evening program and other treats

To purchase tickets online, go to http://www.thebigbash.org/(a $3.50 online processing fee will be assessed by Box Office Tickets)

What's Included:Open BarFull dinner, vegetarian options available upon requestMusical EntertainmentLive Auction Silent Art AuctionRaffle

Call to reserve your tickets today -- 248-398-7105Come Celebrate our Heritage!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Crash



I know I should be hoping that Brokeback Mountain will win but I don't feel that it is the best. My personal favorite is 'Crash'.

I've always had a thing for the way some story lines can show the interconnection of life and 'Crash' does that with a twist.

The acting in the movie isn't always first rate but the overall movie is good. The same could be said of Brokeback save that were it not for the controversy of the film I so not know if it would even be in contention.

For the record I posted this a full hour before the award. Note below...

This year's Academy Awards

brought to you by the committee to promote movies played in movie theaters.

Is it just me or does this year's Oscars feel like one big commercial to go see a movie in a theater?

Well the thing is...

The problem with turning a corner is that you cannot see what's coming at you. It's been a rough week for a number or reasons.

My router is fried so doing anything on-line right now is a pain and I cannot connect to work so I've had to put in a few extra hours there to do some of the things I had started to do here.

Spent the weekend with my nephew. We had a lot of fun but I was ready for him to go home. It apparently showed because toward the end he even asked if I was getting annoyed with him. It wasn't so much that, as it was that his father was supposed to have picked him up hours before and I missed out on something I had been hoping to do. So be it.

The cute guy from last week has disappeared into the either. Though I have made zero attempt to contact him and I realize because of certain people I am not yet willing to be the one to put anything out there for rejection. It makes me sad and angry at the same time. Sad for the obvious that I still have some way to go and angry because I now recognize this as something that was taken from me. I am not the same person I was, and at the present I am feeling as though that may not be an all together positive thing. In many ways I might be worse off now than before, not stronger.

The saying goes it is always darkest before the dawn. Well then I'm ready to wake up. I grow weary of the darkness and long for the light.

I know it will be some time still and the hard parts may yet lay head. Let's hope I see those things coming...

I am so hollow




Goodbye My Lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Turning the Corner

Another week down... This weekend I spent a fair amount of time doing a little bit of everything and actually managed to make some progress on a few matters in the process. I could easily go out and buy a lot of the things that I need to finish a lot of the little projects around the house but then I'd go broke. Better that I knock of one or two things and get them done and out of the way. I'll spend some and work and the relax and wait to do it again.

In the same way things are started to look up in the personal arena as well. I met up for drinks (or something like that) the other night. Things went well, we talked a lot and enjoyed the evening. He is cute and has things together which is a plus. I cannot say where things will go in the long run but then I am not going to worry about that. If there is one thing I have learn it's that I have to take things one day, one experience at a time.

I'm beat from the work out at the gym today so that is my report for tonight...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Can I get a Time Out?

This week isn't going to be a good one for me when it comes to free time after work. Good that It only took me until 10:00 Tuesday evening to come to that conclusion. Between work and the Center I'm booked.

I have grabbed my gym bag each morning oblivious to the fact that it wasn't happening. Of course neither is much else so with that, sweet dreams...

Sunday, February 19, 2006

On second thought

My father went down south for his annual Winter golf get away so I decided to have dinner with Mom. On the drive out it occurs to me that there are plenty of things that I could write about that though pales in comparison to some of the other blogs out there, nevertheless they are worthy to be sure. I'll have to start doing a much better job about reporting in when the good stories do occur. Like for example the straight boy that I picked up at the Weal Inn...

But you know it's late so...