Can't sleep

I can't sleep... Could be because I had a Mt. Dew at 4:30 this afternoon and the sugar and caffeine are still coursing through my veins. Could be because I didn't have my "banana" until 9 o'clock this evening; and while that may be the standard direction I have found that it is more effective for me to take it mid-afternoon. Maybe it is because my boyfriend is snoring away in the bed and nothing seems to disrupt his sleep - particularly when he took something for his allergies - and we all know how sound like that can keep me awake. Or perhaps it is everything that I am thing about, which of course would bring us back to the "banana" but still there seems to be an abundance of thoughts, ideas and otherwise unresolved issues to hash through.

I haven't updated about the weekend so perhaps I could do that and then share some thoughts to kill time.

Friday

Had dinner with my mother and sister. It was her birthday a week back and this was the first chance my sis had to host mom. She used the excuse that her car had been stolen and she now doesn't have one to request that mom drive out this way rather than the reverse. Not a bad move if you ask me; in the six plus years I've lived here in Royal Oak I believe she has been out her no more than six times. Where as I have been to their place six times in the last month. I guess I rather do like to drive so it is no sweat to me but still it is the thought.

A* decided to go out with friends to the MB he stumbled in around quarter to four in the morning.

Saturday

What I did do: Mr K and I went to the Fisher Building to do some shopping. After that we met up with my yenta and the three of us went to see the Heidelberg Project, shop at Easter Market, have lunch at Sinbad's on the river and stop in at Pewabic Pottery. All in all it was a busy afternoon. Next time I want to bring my camera along (of course that assumes that I have a camera, nevertheless).

My sis and her girlfriend came over and the four of us bar-b-qued. The twin and gunny stopped by later for a few drink. All in all it was a good day.

What I didn't do: Saturday morning was the annual park clean-up day in Royal Oak. In Past years a group of us had gotten together to either clean up one of the local parks or participate in the street sweep downtown. Marie usually organized it but I suppose she had other fish to fry this year.

The home builders show was Saturday as well. I wasn't looking for much in the way of what new things are out there - I don't plan on doing anything too outrageous with the deck - but it would have given me a chance to speak with code enforcement without having to deal with the city staff at city hall. Neutral territory, if you will.

Saturday night was Jeff-Jack, or the Jefferson-Jackson Dinner, which is the annual fundraiser dinner of the Michigan Democratic Party. I haven’t had the money to go but should have tried all the same. I’ve made some good allies and decent connections going to that event and shouldn’t let them go to waste.

Of course one of the thought that I am mulling over is what it is that I want to do in this next phase of my life. I definately think that I have to worry a little more about me and a lot less about other things. So what do these connection do for me if I'm not involved? Not much I guess...

GRAVE IMPORTANCE

St. Paul Cemetery in Grosse Pointe Farms hosts the burial sites of celebrated families. Pretty cool story if you ask me. I will have to make an effort to visit some time this summer. Sounds like there is plenty of family there.

As a side note: Trombley has not only been spelled Tromblay and Trombly but also Tremblay and Tremble.

Pay frozen for auto contract workers

Excuse me what!?!

So yeah if as you will read things aren't going so well here in Automation Alley. Working in the auto industry right now is about as lucrative as collecting cans for deposit money. Trouble is here in SE Michigan what else are you going to do? I think they did themselves in a long time ago and things will never be great around here. There is so much investment, venture capital and initiative needed to break free from the rut that we have gotten ourselves in that it seems nearly impossible to over come.

The governor has the right idea with the cool cities program but that too needs reinforcement from the private sector and the local municipalities to be effective at all. Twenty years from now I will be interested to see what becomes of this region.

Day of Silence: 04.13.05

Step 2

"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

Automatically, when I hear a phrase like that I think "Look out. Here comes the Jesus crap." Now, please don't get me wrong. I AM a religious person, but on my own terms. I am catholic, but I do not go to mass. I believe in God, who is perhaps the same God that I was taught to believe in only I feel that I know and understand him better now that I am removed from the teachings of the church and have allowed myself to think on my own. Now that I have that understanding, call it a relationship if you will, I do not want to let go of it. I do not want to hear the "Jesus freaks" preaching to me on how or why I am wrong and telling me what I need to do to be "saved". That is, or was, one of the primary reasons that I did not want to have to go to AA several times a week. I'm glad that what I have found was not the perception that I had.

It still happens from time to time that a new person will join the meeting and speak of the power of Christ and start to go on about religion as thought that were the answer. Well... It is and it isn't. If it works for that person, great go for it. If that is the belief that you need to make it through the day without drinking then knock yourself out. Please though, don't preach to me, and do not pass judgment on me because I don't ascribe to your way of thinking. I don't think that you are wrong in your thinking; I just think that what will work for me is slightly different.

I believe in a higher power. He, She or It is not the same as others might perceive but I believe.

I believe in good and evil. Everyone, even the best of us, has portions of their being that are good and that are evil. It is only though our intellectual and emotional strengths that we present ourselves as good or evil.

I believe that all prayers are answered just not in the way that most may sometimes like. There are really only three answers to prayers: Yes - which everyone expects; No - Which is what some would referred to as an unanswered prayer. It doesn't even have to be the thunderous, fire and brimstone NO (although it can), even "I'm sorry" still translates to no; and ... Wait, or not yet. Perhaps you will be relieved of whatever stressor has driven you to seek the comfort of some unknown being but the lesson that you need to learn - to make you a strong and or better person - isn't yet over.

I believe that our higher power, God if you please, is in us and all around us. It is comforting to believe that some power, an unseen omnipotent being, could ease our burden. Wouldn't it be even more comforting to believe in a power that while still greater than ourselves was in fact a part of us. That we had no further to go than the innermost reaches of our own being to find greater strength, wisdom, love and courage than we ever thought capable of? That through that inner power when shared with others we could be even greater, and all the while through our good or evil either add to or subtract from the power of all others? It is a scary thought but places much more responsibility in our own selves and will not allow us to defer to or blame others for our lives.

my new job

I cannot seem to get away from it. However the stuff I'm working on now is far superior to anything in the past...


The All-New 2006 Mercedes-Benz M-Class

Well you see mom...

A* and I went out my parents for a brief visit. I hadn't even thought about what I was wearing when my mother says "Catcher, I didn't know you where a catcher." ... silence ... "Are you a catcher?!?" I just gave my mom a hug and A* did his best to stifle a laugh.

Afterwards A* made the observation that the "b!tch" probably explained everything to my mother anyway... God help her if she did.

"You have mail..."

And so it happens... In almost two years of blogging yesterday - Saturday, 09 April 2005 - I received my first comment. And wouldn't you know it that the very first, and presently only, comment in this entire blog is SPAM!!!

Now I understand that at some point the comment feature was malfunctioning and suspect through other's testimony that commenting still may be cumbersome to the uninitiated but I've done it so it cannot be all too difficult. Now perhaps nobody reads this. But I know otherwise as the counter would clearly indicate. In the past I have been intermittent in my posting but have been pretty steady of late so perhaps this will change.

But I mean really SPAM!?! Now obviously it isn't trying to sell me a "little blue pill" but nevertheless, clearly there is no substance to the comment and the blog is as meaningless and/or indecipherable as to the character or personality of it's editor(s) to warrant such a comment.

All the same though it is my very first comment, I will cherish it always...

A sure sign of the coming of the apocalypse

This just in from the You Might Be A Hypocrite If Department

New York Times

Saturday, April 9, 2005

G.O.P. Consultant Weds His Male Partner By Adam Nagourney

WASHINGTON, April 8 - Arthur J. Finkelstein, a prominent Republican consultant who has directed a series of hard-edged political campaigns to elect conservatives in the United States and Israel over the last 25 years, said Friday that he had married his male partner in a civil ceremony at his home in Massachusetts.

Mr. Finkelstein, 59, who has made a practice of defeating Democrats by trying to demonize them as liberal, said in a brief interview that he had married his partner of 40 years to ensure that the couple had the same benefits available to married heterosexual couples. ...

... Mr. Finkelstein has been allied over the years with Republicans who have fiercely opposed gay rights measures, including former Senator Jesse Helms of North Carolina, and has been the subject of attacks by gay rights activists who have accused him of hypocrisy. He was identified as gay in a Boston Magazine article in 1996. ...

Yet again we are our own worst enemy. This jerk-off (and I don't mean that in a good way) paid for his wedding on the backs of other gay and lesbian individuals that he has made a living repressing. But you know what they say, "Karma's a BITCH" I'm sure he'll get his.

this just in

It's official I'm an idiot. Film at eleven.

Motor City Pride

Sunday, 5 June 2005

12 Noon - 7PM

Downtown Ferndale

Motor City Pride 2005: This year will be headlined by Martha Wash but we hope for sunshine.

Additionally there will be a showing of "Slutty Summer" at the Main Art Theatre in Royal Oak on Saturday, 4 June 2005 at 7:30PM. You can purchase your tickets here.

And the prince makes three...

Monaco's Prince Rainier III Dead at 81 After Long Reign

Hallelujah

Jeff Buckely - Grace: Hallelujah

Well I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this :
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah...

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
And she tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah...

(Yeah but) Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor, (You know)
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
and love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah...

Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Hallelujah...

[Instrumental]

Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
It's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelu...
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelu...
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Hallellllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuujjjaahhhh...Hallelllluuuuuujjaaaaaaaaaahhhh

lyrics by : Leonard Cohen

___________________________________________________________________

hal·le·lu·jah ("ha-l&-'lü-y&), interjection 1. Praise ye the Lord! -n. 2. an excalimation of " hallelujah!" 3. a shout of praise, joy, or gratitude. 4. a musical composition wholly or pricipally based upon the word "hallelujah." [1525-35; Hebrew halleluyAh praise ye Yahweh; cf. ALLELUIA]

Hate continues

Early Results: Kansas OKs Gay Union Ban

Make that now 14 states that have a gay marriage ban in their constitution. Why or how this impacts straight marriages is absolutely beyond me. Codifying hate is a sign that the government is past it's apex. The decline in our own moral supremacy, now waning we could soon expect the utter collapse as society as a whole, just when they thought they were saving all of us from that very destruction.

Stay with me for a second. Either we will continue down this road or we face a radical change in vision and the need for government. Outlawing, or at the least refusing to acknowledge all non traditional relationships is only the first step. What's next? Is it abortion? Do we outlaw that and return to a time when in many instances the only choice available was to have an illegal, dangerous and potentially fatal procedure without adequate medical care? What about sex education? Do we do away with everything other than abstinence only? Once teen pregnancy and HIV+ cases increase dramatically who will they blame then? Will it be too late to do anything? When will it stop?!?

If a job falls in the woods...

Today WAS supposed to be my first day back to being gainfully employed. However, due to a comedy of errors that has been delayed until next week. All in all I think that I have lost about three weeks due to the utter incompetence of several of the people involved. What irks me the most is that these buffoons will be taking a cut off the top from my salary in return for what I'm not sure. I found the job, I interviewed for the job and pretty much had the job locked up before "they" were ever involved. The prices I am paying for health insurance leads me to believe that I am paying for it in full without any help from my employer, and that is about it. Nothing much else is there. Needless to say I will continue to look and may even come up with a major change yet. It will be nice to work again though.

Pledge Week

It's pledge week... have you made your donation yet?

Really though if you listen to NPR, or 'A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor' from Lake Wobegon, or even Click and Clack on Car Talk you owe it to them and to yourself to give something. Thing of it as your own personal subscription, the more you listen, enjoy or participate the more you should consider giving. Inasmuch as it is voluntary we'll make it progressive, let's say $52 or one dollar a week for the year, more if you can less if you can't. If everyone that even listened to public radio made that donation they could have pledge hour or at most pledge day rather than pledge week. And I for one would be OK with that.

Reefer Madness

I cannot wait to see this show. Even before watching the preview I new the original film was just hilarious. To see it with a modern spin ought to be quite entertaining.

RIP: Terri Schiavo

ABC News: Terri Schiavo Dies at 41

Hopefully she is more at peace.

S&P cuts C&A rating; bankruptcy possible

At least they are not C&A.

Delphi hits the bottom of S&P 500 companies

Delphi hits the bottom of S&P 500 companies

Let's hope I can find a way to say some money for them, eh!?!

Detroit's Catch-22

GM swerves with dull lineup

The problem goes back a long way and generations have grown accustomed to the Detroit "Big-Three" producing exciting looking cars while lagging with quality, or perceived quality, as compared to Japanese manufactures. The Japanese manufactures have generally had rather dull designs and changes from model generation to the next have been subtle and slow. I'm sure this in part helps with their quality formula, but does little to excite brand image. It would seem that GM has tried to adopt the dull but quality model. That is fine if you have the demand to support it but for the time being I think they need to have both exciting designs and excellent quality. Yes, it is a more difficult position to be in but forget one and soon the other won't matter.

Please stand by...

I think Blogger has been experiences some difficulties lately as a few of my post from the last few days didn't actually post. Inasmuch as I haven't had problems with other sites on-line I have to conclude that it was a Blogger.com issue.

Oh well...

Photography

Starry night

It is kind of amazing what you can do with a camera. I could only dream of not only having the talent and the equipement (which these days isn't to hard to do, so long as you don't break your camera), and of course the opportunity. I don't know that abandoned buildings are the Detroit equivialent of the Sonoran Dessert but it's the best we've got.

Welcome to Michigan

Choose your doctor carefully

It is scary to think that anyone could possibly think that this law doesn't have far reaching problems with it. Check back latter under unforseen consequences.

Spring

I did some shopping at English Gardens just to get my mind going. It was nice to see all of the flowers in bloom, with the Sun out it was a rather relaxing time.

I still do not know what I will do with regard to additional landscaping this year. Obviously spending a lot of money on plants isn't a priority. I would love to be able to get some things started to block a few views but we'll see.

"Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?"

In what had to have only been the darkest hours of his entire life, doing what could be nothing less than the most supreme sacrifice for one he loved more than himself, at that very moment while completing his purpose in life for this other, that one turns his back on him. Abandoned and in pain he cries out and there is no peace. He suffers and is alone.

The Good Friday Debacle

Six years ago today I started the up-stairs renovation. The clock keeps ticking...

Green Lantern

Green Lantern

Again wandering... The above is from a blog that I read from time to time. It is a pretty cool picture and reminds me of days gone by, in my childhood and more recently. It could be embarrassing (not to be confused with bare assing - which it was) but let's be real. I did it, it was kind of funny, and I was plenty drunk at the time. Does that absolve me of anything, I don't think so but nevertheless it is done so don't expect an apology from me.

So there. Besides there are so many other things for me to worry about, should I feel the need, playing the role of the green lantern - albeit one with a twisted gay theme - is the least of my concerns.

I'm straight acting?!?

OK stop laughing...

So in reading through the blogosphere I came across an entry that referred to our group as frat types.

A group of cute, straight-acting frat-boy types came in. One introduced himself as what sounded like Tim 'with a P', so I was calling him 'Ptim,' until he showed me his license. His last name was 'Withipey.' He was a cutie.

We are many things but girl, straight acting, really?!? Anyway it is hilarious to see a reference to yourself in someone else's blog that you never even met. I came up with "Withipey" from Ptim. The "p" is silent but how was I to know?

The cast from last Saturday's Big Bash Whodunit Mystery

Wheels in my Head

OK, so I cannot sleep. Trust me, I tried and I definitely feel tired but when push comes to shove my mind just keeps chugging along. I had a coffee in the afternoon but that should have worn off well before now. A* is already halfway to Never-Never Land and all I can do is try to find a pattern in his snoring. I think of this, then that – the past, the present and the future, however imperfect it may be. Should I continue to lay there or no? Should I balance my checkbook or re-read my resume. What to do, what to do?

In between reading news and listening to some calming music I have been looking at job postings on Monster, and I have been thinking. I guess I have a lot of things to think about. There are plenty of things in my life that right now at this moment aren’t so great but there are just as many that are. It isn’t that I am unhappy, it's that I am discontented. The difference, I suppose, has much to do with where I think I could be and does not focus on where I am. I’ve always had this problem. There are always lists of tasks I should do, places I should go, and things I should learn. What I need to learn is to be content with what I have while striving to have more. Can that be balanced or acheived?

Know that you're loved,

D

"Peace, it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." -Unknown

Happy Birthday

So much for product placement...

Life, the World and Everything Thereafter

Lawmakers should back off, say those with similar stories

The ongoing saga of Terri Schiavo has got me to thinking. It can be either a simple decision between terra and her husband Michael; or a complex one that may make one rethink their own arrangements in life for death.

It is commonly joked among a close circle of friends that we would not want to be on life support. What is really said is that were any one of us in the hospital and were to be unable to go to the bathroom ourselves that we would be OK with pulling the plug. The fear of needing the help of another or of having to wear a diaper being too much for us pretentious and shallow gay men. The truth is I don't know that any of us have really thought it through to its end. Would we want to have "life" continue if we were in that condition? If not then what condition would be OK and what wouldn't? Would we want the hospital to go to heroic measures or no? Where again is the line. Would anyone want to be brought back to life only to potentially suffer debilitating effects for our trauma? It is all a risk game.

Does Michael Schiavo have the right to continue as Terri's legal guardian if he has, for all intensive purposes, already moved on. He has a girlfriend and children by her. The apparent reason he has not married her is to retain custody of Terri as her legal husband. I would believe that he has been by her side and has not abandoned her because he feels that he is doing what Terri would have wanted. If he wanted to give you on that marriage so as to move on he could have done so long ago without fighting for what he believes are Terri's wishes. But that does put some speculation into the equation.

Is Terri still alive now?!? I mean her body is still functioning as a body, save that she cannot feed herself, nevertheless it does otherwise work as a body, or a vehicle if you will. The argument to have her feeding tube removed is that in her persistent vegetative state the cognitive part of her brain is damaged and will not return. Is the cognitive part of ones brain the seat of the soul? Is the driver of this vehicle gone? or is the soul still inside? and if so what has become of it? Is the soul aware of what is going on but unable to communicate through its vehicle? or is it too broken (unconscious, asleep, what have you...)? Will we ever know?

Is it our right to intervene in the private matters of other private individuals? What happened to the Republican party that so champions states rights? What ever happened to the rule of law? In the past year we have heard increasingly of activist judges overruling legislation now we have activist legislators. The hypocrisy of it all bothers me. People seem to have forgotten that there are three branches of government for a reason and that the courts system is not merely that pesky little brother but is supposed to have equal share with the other two. Let's not forget that.

In any event this should be enough of a wake up call to begin planning for a living trust and durable power of attorney. That all would be easier of course were same-sex marriage easier but not impossible (except for Virginia)

Big Bash 2005

Oops, oh yeah the dinner went well. We had over 500 people attended and raised a ton of money for the center. Thanks for joining. See you next year...

Why men earn more than women

An interesting read. I would be curious to learn how the statistics stack up given the above considerations. I for one cannot see how women get paid less than men these days. The only consideration is that while there are salary bands for any job and everyone of that band must fit within, there is little keeping the employers from trying to push some to the low end to balance others at the big end. If a man is more assertive or requests a higher salary it would be to the employer's benefit to have someone at the low end and if that happens to be a women then so be it. I know that I have the bias of being male but I do not think that an employer would intentionally single out a woman for lower income. These days that just doesn't make good business. There are always victims and you can make a statistic say whatever you wish. Let's hope soon we can get past these issues and on to other more pressing matters.

Two years, huh!?!

So two years ago I fell in love. I know it is cliche but it is true. Like they say, when and where you least expect it...

Technology you gotta love it

See. Not just for red-eye anymore.

Love

Interesting, very interesting...

Delphi accounting woes rattle through industry

Delphi accounting woes rattle through industry So what you're saying is maybe taking a job with Delphi where my primary function would be to try and save them money might not be the best move, or the brightest?!?

That's the thing about guilt

So I'm none too pleased about the sentence I've received. I admit that what I did was wrong and that I expect that I should be punished in some form. It is just that I don't believe in AA and I know that this very judge has generally given out much lighter sentences (in the area or AA to others) . So here it is 50 hours or community service, w/ 10 hours granted for appearing in his dog-n-pony road show, 12 months probation, fines and AA three times a week. That's right three times a week. Now I don't know about you but that is just over the top. What the hell am I supposed to get out of wasting my time three times a week sitting through this bogus mambo-jumbo? I freely admit that I have a problem w/ alcohol. Let's move on.

the unknown

It is interesting how much power nothing can have. The unknown, that which is not, can have a tremendous power over us all. It isn't death that we fear but dying. We are unsure what may happen, we hope there is little pain. It is the unknown that keeps people apart. Misunderstanding, created buy the unknown could be said to be the root of discrimination, homophobia, or racism. It is an unsure self conscinious, brought on by the unknowning of ones own ablity that prevents us from moreing forward or moving on.

So what will come next?

I don't know...

Photographs of Detroit

I had the chance to wander around downtown Detroit this past Friday afternoon. I had to stop by Ilitch Holdings to pick up their contribution to this year's Big Bash Live Auction.

Afterwards since I didn't have anything else compelling to do I wandered around for a while taking pictures.

Huh?!?

I even managed to take one picture that I submitted to the Mirror Project. I've forgotten how relaxing it can be to just wander without direction and just take in the world around you. (Although one could argue that is what I have been doing for the last few weeks.)

Cash strapped my ass!

Apparently buying a stone is more important than keeping people employed...

Big Bash 2005

Have you bought your ticket?

So now what?!?

Good question!

I really don't know what it is that I am supposed to be doing right now in my life. I mean, I know I need to try to find a job and once that is taken care of that could be that. Let's face it though, I do not honestly believe that it will be that simple. Let's assume that I do get a job in the next few weeks, and let's assume that I make as much money (if not more - I can hope) as my last job. What then??? Do I like this job or is it more of the same? Do I know what it is that I want to do? Do I struggle through life like the rest of the cattle, trying to make ends meet, never really making an impact on the world as a whole and never truly being happy because I neither work in a job that I find fulfilling or I do not make enough money to compensate for the former? Do I go back to school and if so for what? Do I go full time or nights? Do I move from here or do I stick it out? When will I know? When will it be too late? Do I change my career? Can I accept a pay cut to do something that I would rather do? What is it that I want to do again? Am I happy? Could someone please let me know when I am? Do I want too much or is it that I have my sights set too low? Should I take my chances with a multi-level marketing scheme, I mean business, or do I run for the hills and do something different? Could I be successful as an eBay reseller? Should I start a new business or franchise with a current one? What? When? Where? How? And Why? (does Which go in there?)

Of course I could put the same question to this blog. What is it's purpose again? Does anyone read this? Does anyone care? Am I entertaining myself or do yawl get a kick out of my pedantic psychobabble? Can I be truly honest or do I censor myself for fear that others may read what I write? Am I even conscience of whether or not I censor what I write? Have I already said too much, or do you want more? Where is the line? Does this make sense to you? Have I run on enough for today or should I keep going? Are you still there? Is this thing on? Hello?

Delight rouge

Scary huh?!?

Looks like I could use some of that L' Oreal.

Magic make-up

Hey if it makes me look that good I'm in.

We interrupt this blog

Umm... Silicon Valley we have a problem.

Actually I have had quite a few problems with just about everything on-line lately. Nothing in great measure but it all adds up to being a pain in the buttocks. Apparently a portion of yesterdays blog was omitted. I know it was there because I added links to text that was a part of the missing. Corrections seen below in darker blue (we queers would call it periwinkle.)

I've also had some problems with my website, which I had hoped would be a good place to post many of the photos taken from last summer. Sure there are other ways but this should not be any more difficult. The garbage that is there right not is only because I have been testing to see if I could get it to work. No success yet. Stay tuned.

It would also appear that the application I have been using to add the photos to my blog is now giving me fits and starts. I suspect some of all of my problems lay in the fact that I currently have multiple pop-up blocker/spamware blocker/spyware blocker/firewalls going right now. Some come with the browser. Some with the computer and some are after the fact. Regardless I am overloaded and now feel trapped by the very thing that was supposed to set me free... There is a metaphor in there to be sure.

Keep you fingers crossed for me, eh!?!

Therapy

So it is amazing how things happen. I was mudding and sanding drywall all day Saturday and though it is fairly mindless work my noggin was getting real traction. I thought about a lot of things - what has happened in my recent past, where I am presently and where my future may lead me. More so now than ever I need someone to talk to that can understand where I'm at and provide some guidance. Anyway, as I'm sanding an old soliloquy comes to my mind. It deals with life and the world around you and has always helped me refocus when things get rough. As I was kicking around on-line I noticed that one guy on Out in Chicago had the same poem on his own personal blog. It brought a smile to my face. On Monday while talking with my therapist he used a phase from the poem and I mentioned it's name. Ironically he had never heard of the poem before the previous evening when a colleague handed him his business card which has the single word "Desiderata" on the back of it. The coincidence was amusing. Clearly the universe is unfolding as it should.

There was some more here but frankly after the technical difficulties it was enough to recompile the last part of this first paragraph. Suffice to say that I know I need to have patience to see myself through the next phase of my life.

Know that you're loved,

D

Fashion Undies!

Why didn't I think of this?!?

So easy! Guys have been wearing patterned boxers forever and colored briefs but why not patterned briefs? It would seam apropos as the generation first introduced to underoos is now men, that we shouldn't have to give up on cool looking undies.

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of the time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery, but let this not blind you to what virtue there is, many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in times of sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be good to yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrman, 1927

Chevy SSR Raffle

Want to try and win this car?!?

For $100 this Chevy SSR could be yours. As part of General Motors ongoing support of Affirmations they have donated the SSR for a raffle. The proceeds from which will go to help support the Capital Campaign for the Centers new home.

To date few tickets have sold, and sales are limited to 1000, so either way your odds of winning are good. Why not take a chance?!?

Just a helpful suggestion

Never eat tuna fish immediately before doing anything that may require you to where a dust mask.

Speaking of Taxes

Just found out that on top of having a portion of my trip to San Antonio tax deductible for job search reasons, I could potential deduct the remainder due to doctor prescribed relaxation treatment (we call them vacations). Oh my! Of course I still need to justify the expenditure as unemployment isn't going to go too far, all the same it may be a good thing for me.

Oh my! It is big!

It's no wonder gay men are drawn to Toronto!

What to do, what to do

A* is off to TO this weekend. He will be taking the Hummer and cannot stop talking about it. Myself on the other hand will be spending the weekend at home. Normally this would be a good thing as we do spend a fair amount of time together so time apart is appreciated; however I've spent the last month at home without a job. While I have definitely spent some time working on finding a job and interviewing I have also spent quite a bit of time inside this otherwise empty house. It gets to bit dull after awhile.

That said I have many other issues to attend to in my life right now and should definitely avail myself to the time that I have. Going to the gym, working on the home renovations, and doing so various stuff on-line are definite things that I WANT to do. It is only a matter of coordinating those things with the rest of my expectations that I need to balance. I suppose that should be more than enough to keep me occupied for the next week let alone until Monday! So be it.

San Antonio

Thoughts on Texas. It may not be the most liberal state in the country and the political shenanigans that have gone on there lately leave much to be desired. All the same it might be nice out there who knows?!? At least I certainly do not. Well, that may change. I have previously thought about going somewhere for a vacation and why not Texas? It will be plenty warm, although really anything would be warmer than here and it does have a lot to do. Not to mention the fact that I would like to interview out there and thus may be able to deduct some of the expense from next years taxes. (Having just finished 2004 it is fresh on my mind)

So let's have a go of it. I want to do a little more research to make sure I don't waste my time and it would be nice to be able to know I will have money to pay for the trip but hey isn't that the point of the trip. Take a chance...

Moving Forward

It seems more and more clear that I should look beyond where I am right now. I have thought about getting out of town, both for the weekend and forever. It would make sense then to perhaps intermingle the two in the form of job interviews or at least prospecting. I have in the past thought about going the Toyota way and know that the last great hope for the industry lays in that direction. They have a new project going up in Texas which is both some where I've though about visiting and living in previously. This may be that chance. I still need a few things to come into alignment but we can work on that right?!?

How do you plead?!?

Things went smoother than I would have expected but then it is my impression it is more about bringing in revenue rather than punishing, preventing or rehabilitating. Due to a paperwork glitch I had the lesser of the two issues dropped and the other reduced. Fees and penances have yet to be levied as I have been asked to participate in a "mock trial" at one of the local high schools. This should be interesting. According to consul things should be more lenient as a courtesy for participating. Let's hope so. Still I would have almost rather had this over so that I could get on with it. Waiting and wondering is the worst part of it all.

On an interesting side note we got to see one of the "dancers" from the Troll Coast... I mean Gold Coast get it for a page long list of items. Not surprised, still he didn't seem to care for the sentence and looked quite scared. My guess is he was a Top, and I stress was. (giggles)

Tick tock

Tomorrow is the big day. Or at least the next big day in what will ultimately lead up to The Big Day. I'm nervous to be sure, but oddly calm. I suppose much has to do with the fact that I cannot do much about the past and the future outcome is yet to be determined. Worrying about it to much beyond planning and putting that plan aside until needed is pointless. I do want it to be over and tonight it is starting to hit me again that this is still going to require my full efforts and will obviously effect me for the rest of my life. Let keep our fingers crossed shall we!?!

Well DUH!!!

So it would appear that I am chronically depressed. That and $2.00 will get you a latte. I paid a lot of money for someone to tell me that I'm depressed! Now I will grant him that the diagnosis is slightly more involved than that and the whole of the diagnosis is dead on. I mean some of my friends or family probably don't know me as well as someone who may read that report. Thank God it's confidential. But, really! Did I need to pay someone for that information? Especially given that the result is... "You, should probably see a therapist to work through some of this and develop a plan to manage this." Isn't that why I came to you in the first place?!? Thanks Bud. No who do I make the check out to?

Happy VD

I had to... So Happy Valentine's Day!

I started a tradition a few years back of signing off on my e-mails with "Know that you're loved," on Valentine's Day. There are times when I take it off, more so lately with the many e-mails to prospective employer's but still I believe there is much value in it.

It started off as a response to many things that where going on in my life at the time. I was single and depressed (more later) and desperately needed to feel loved myself at the time. I knew I loved many others, in varying degrees, and so it goes that I send out my e-mail with a simple note.

I was also fed up with the Christian Right feeding us this "Love the sinner, hate the sin" BS, that clearly was the current lie-de-jour. I even recall one particularly vile so called Christian us the "I love you and that is why I want you to see the pain you are causing yourself. Don't you see how unhappy you are?" It was of course the perfect ruse. First establish a system that persecute a group and then tell them that you feel for their pain, while avoiding the root cause, and offer to help by changing who they are. So the statement that she loved me felt so false and shallow that I joked that we were loved.

The truth is I am glad that I did that and continue to use it as often as I can. So... Until next time.

Know that you're loved,

D

The rule of unintended consequences

Not having a job right now means that I can sleep-in if I want. Being the type of person who relishes sleep, but rarely having the opportunity to do so I rather enjoy being able to get up when I please. The down side to that is that I don't feel like I get enough done during the day. Sure I have a decent lead on a job right now so I best take advantage of the chance while it lasts but that is sort of like putting all of my eggs in one basket. Outside of job hunting, there are plenty of things that I can do around the house that I should be doing as well not to mention that A* might appreciate. The largest down side is that it is now almost 1AM am I'm not the least bit tired. Unintended consequence. I cannot fall asleep at night.

Having spent the last few weeks with NPR playing in the background I have begun to realize that most things these days have unintended consequences. Think about it - Social Security, the Iraq War, Smoking Ban's you name it and you can probably find some out come that was not only not anticipated but counter productive. I hope to go through some of these issues in more detail as they seem to be interesting to me and I hope to you.

Not that I think they are all unintended and that is where some of the most fierce debates will come.

Stay tuned...

Afternoon Tea at Tiffany's

Oh the fun I could have had. We met with the local store director at Tiffany & Co. to discuss their sponsoring Affirmation's Big Bash 2005. They were more excited about it than we were, if that it possible. Their initial response is that they will be donating a bar set put together from their collection of sterling sliver ware and crystal. I cannot wait to see what the final product will be.

It was real fun to be behind the scene's at the store, even the general office's have an air of sophistication to them. Being just before Valentine's Day they had several pieces pulled together for a spot on Channel 7, tomorrow. The diamond selected was 3 plus carets. My eyes are still spinning.

It's not Nick

I am baby sitting for my twin this weekend. The little guy is only 3 1/2, as he will gladly inform you, but it is already clear he will be a sharp one. His mother is a physical therapist and has taken the opportunity during the lull at various sporting events to teach him almost every bone in the body as well as some muscle groups. I love it. He will also quickly correct you that his name is not Nick it is Nicholas. That particullar trait I suspect comes from my brother who from birth on insisted that we reffer to him by his full name. (I know I was thinking that was kinda gay too, but hey...) Anyway it should be a blast and I hope to update with some of our adventures.

Sell, Sell!

OK. I don't need the money right now, but if, though hopefully not when, I need the money I do not want to be left in the lurch. Based upon observations I have made I am not inspired and my faith in the leadership at the Company is one of distrust to begin with. Do I think they will come out of the current financial pressures?!? Sure, they always do. Do I think they will be major players for the foreseeable future? Yeah, but I see it diminishing. Do I think they will ever be major stock must-haves. Now would have I sold my entire portfolio if I did!?! Now, I cannot tell you what to do but, do you want to trust your money to a gang of men that act more out of their own self interest than your own. That balanced with the fact that they themselves are somewhat dependent upon the financial success of the Company. Who knows, for myself though, I sold.

The Return of the Queen

Gym Bunnies beware I have made my full return to that place of exercise.

A few observations:

1. During the day there are only retirees and middle aged women.
2. When you don't go to the gym for some time you cannot do the work out you did the last time you 'really' worked out.
3. Guys in gyms - I've seen dicks before. When you turn around to hide your goods you are just showing me you ass... Thank you!
4. Since when is the gym a day-care center?!?

So for now we'll try to take it easy. It felt good though.

You can, but WOULD you?!?

Postulate - There has been the debate that sex and love are completely separate things, and that both can be had without the other. I would concede that the above statement is partially true but fails to address the reality of this world which is if they are mutually exclusive can they not also be mutually inclusive and what combination is most preferred? The answer depends on what it is that you are looking for in the first place and what you want long term. The reasoning behind the answer may also highlight the difference between gender and sexual orientation and the way each uniquely, or not, approach the question.

Sex without Love - It is most certainly possible to have sex without love. Sex comes in many forms, regardless of what your definition of 'is' is, and its most basic form requires no love at all, masturbation. Certainly you can love yourself as you please yourself but that certainly doesn't have to be the case. Nightly, more common on the weekend, loveless sex can be found in the form of the one-night-stand. While in the long term love may be formed between the individuals involved this would violate the premise of the one-night-stand. Gay men quite commonly find this the most convenient form of mutual sex with no strings attached, not the least of which would be love. Of course in the most ferocious form of sex, rape, rarely if ever has any connection with the mutual concern for well-being, and deep emotional bond associated with love. Probably more common between a heterosexual pair, this is likely due to the difference perceptions and values placed not only on sex but the other individual involved. Unfortunately there are those that would condemn all of the above forms of sex as they do not adhere to the biblical directive that creates a sin for all of the above actions.

Love without Sex - Certainly love without the physical intimacy that sex brings between two individuals is entirely possible. However it is important to qualify what love is and how it differentiates across a spectrum. It is possible to love a thing, a place, or an idea without ever even considering the impossible concept of sex with that item. Religious figures commit their love to God and therefore what they can never achieve in the physical is said to be made up for in the spiritual. Even the love of other individuals is more often than not never more than love. The love between parents and their off-spring, siblings and even close friends are taboo to cross the line with sexual physical contact more extreme than a kiss or an embrace. During traditional courting periods, again the emotional bond and unifying love between two individuals develops before physical intimacy, particularly in the most conservative adherences.

Sex with Love - The love between two adult individuals is unique. In the instance of clergy, blood family and platonic friendships, introducing sex with their love would be more destructive than unitive. Sex between two grown and emotionally mature people has the power to bring those two closer as a result of the shared experience. It is the fact that these two individuals love each other that drives them to want the other person to experience as much pleasure, if not more, as they do themselves. The compounding effect can make the sexual experience more intense, and thus more pleasurable for all involved.

And - Beyond the physical pleasure felt during sex lies the emotional or spiritual intimacy involved. Because those in love often want more for the one they love than their own well being, sex provides one of the few win-win-win situations. As acknowledged earlier, sex on its own is pleasurable, and thus is expected to be pleasurable for both individuals involved. That pleasure can be intensified, if the fact that one is pleasing the other, is by itself a pleasurable feeling. This intensification can compound upon itself developing a crescendo of pleasure, to a climax of the sexual experience.

Therfore - It would be easy to deduce then that while love and sex can exist as mutual exclusive states of being that when combined they create a powerful experience unparalleled in by either of the two alone. Many conditions and considerations need to be accounted for the ideal situation but even in the imperfect can be at the minimum no less enjoyable than in the absence of one or the other. Ability to provide the physical and desire to be selfless in caring for the other create a sensation that should leave one thinking, "well sure I could, but why would I?!?"

Monster Day

Spent most of today working on my resume, searching through Monster, reading about what I should do next. All in all it was productive but stressful. I have begun to realize that I grew far too complacent in my previous position and should have done something about it long ago. For the first time since Wednesday I got butterflies in my stomach and really started to think about what lay ahead for me. Hopefully this will be a short experience and I will be back to dread the daily grind in no time. With any luck I just may find something I like and will definitely do things different moving forward.

Networking my way across the Blogosphere

I sent this out to friends and family yesterday. Now it is your turn...
__________________________________________________________________


Thursday, January 20, 2005
Greetings All,

I hope this letter finds you all in great spirits, rested from the holiday season and still committed to your New Year’s Resolutions. I myself am only 50/50 on the resolutions but then tomorrow is another chance to fix that right (why wait ‘til next year?!?) I had begun writing this letter, earlier this week, with an entirely different purpose in mind but recent circumstances have forced a change of plans.

Regrettably after four years and 8 months (I had just received the invite to my 5 year anniversary event earlier this month) I am no longer an employee of Lear Corporation. Fallen victim to the latest round of cuts that have been going on for the last two plus years, I was part of yesterday’s layoffs, more directly than I care. It was an interesting experience, the last four years, and the layoff, one that I have definitely grown from and do not regret.

Obviously a new chapter must now be forged and it is with that in mind that I now write you. I need your help. I will, of course, be doing quite a bit of work to return to productive society myself, but should you know of any opportunities out there I would appreciate it if you would keep me in mind. I am currently in the process of updating my résumé and will gladly forward it upon request. By way of back-ground information I have a BS in Chemical Engineering from Michigan State University, and previously worked as a Product Engineer working on hard trim (plastic) automotive interiors and have a total of 8 years automotive, and 3 years chemical work experience. Certainly I would be interested in a similar type position but am entertaining other opportunities as well.

I am lucky to be surrounded by great friends and family that support me (some have already proposed solutions), as well a boyfriend whose love knows no bound. While there is rarely a good time for something like this to happen I am blessed to be where I am now. After getting all of my ducks in a row, résumé updated, on-line job hunt applications filled out and phone calls made you will be one of my best resources.

Thank you again.

Know that you're loved,

D

"Peace, it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." -Unknown

David T. Light
612 S. Dorchester Ave
Royal Oak, MI 48067-4048
Home: (248) 546-1267

Well, that shows what I know

Why "Hail to the Chief"? - How it became the presidential song. By Andy Bowers:
"Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,
Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.
Hail to the Chief, as we pledge co-operation
In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.
Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
This you will do, That's our strong, firm belief.
Hail to the one we selected as commander,
Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!"

I though it was "Hail to the Cheif! He's the one we all say hail to."

Actually I've never liked Pink

It has happened. This afternoon my director came over to my desk and asked if he could speak with me. Odd because he does not have an office in my building but not unreasonable because his employees do and our relationship is such that this would not be out of order. We step into one of the managers offices where he introduces me to our HR manager. Still I am thinking what is the problem that he needs my knowledge about. Or does this have something to do with the e-mail I sent out earlier in the day that stated I do not have the responsibility to do something requested of me (I thought that because I noticed he read the e-mail almost immediately when he usually doesn't in the same day.) Couldn't be that... As HR offers a chair (this isn't her office mind you) I notice a form letter on the table were we sit. A promotion?!? I'll admit I am overdue for a promotion but the timing is all wrong so nope. They've found out about other issues?!? Nah, that could be but isn't likely... So what then? As I sit and look to my director the words on the letter I had glanced a second before came into view in my mind and finally registered "severance".

"Dave" says my boss, the same man who was once my customer and equal, "we've got some bad news. There has been some cut backs and we are going to have to let you go."

Oh that's all.... Why all the drama? Don't you thin you could have at least done me the favor of letting me sleep in today?!? Wouldn't it have been better if you had waited until I was half way to Mexico to tell me? I thought this was something serious. As HR went through the package they were offering me the only thought going on in my head was, "Wow, this Paxil really does work." I couldn't believe it. I sort of wanted to cry but I couldn't. I think I even manage to crack a joke.

Seriously though I was panicking and scared but my outward demeanor never betrayed that. You say many things about the way I handled myself during many occasions at that place but for sure I went out with class.

I wish I could have had more time to grant my good-byes and leave a few choice words for a few of my now former co-workers by alas it was not to be. So good-bye, good luck and just because you have activated your turn indicator doesn't automatically grant you the right to get into the lane next to you.

It's a small world and a smaller industry, I'll see you all soon. In the mean time...

Know that you're loved,

D

Step one

A light breakfast and a protein shake, whey protein not the other kind ;-), AM Yoga followed by a trip to the gym and a stop at the market for lunch. Not a bad start to the weekend. Just checking in on-line, here (of course), here and here. Oh did I mention,

Darkness Comes

Things have been glum lately, and to be sure there have been more than enough issues going on that would certainly get even the best of us down but I cannot help but feel as though nothing is going right for me right now.

I do want to keep things light, pun intended, but there is the darkness that I suppose I did commit myself to acknowledging. This time of year tends to get many people blue. With the many other things that I am dealing with and the general stress from work it makes sense that I would be a bit depressed (dark) right now. Tomorrow definitely calls for a full on pick-me up day. I suppose I best get some rest so that I can be at my best in the morning.

I've heard of lesbian bed death but...

Is it possible for gay men to suffer the same fate? Don't ask me I might be a little biased.

Boing

That sound you hear is my new Year's resolution imploding. No necessarily an abject failure but I've certainly not eaten right nor have I made it to the gym yet. It can definitely be said that so far things have not gotten off to the right foot. Heck the left foot would be fine with me right now, I just need to get off of my fat ass.

Dreams

Last night I had a dream. It was possibly one of the more vivid dreams I've had in some time, and equal parts surrealism, reality, and projection.

I joined the US Marines, which trust me is not on my list of things to do before I die. I cannot think of any particular reason I would have dreamt this scenario. My twin brother is a Marine so that is the closest I can think. It is possible that it could represent a focus on the discipline of boot camp that could represent a desire to reform or change the coarse of my life.

Rather than attending boot camp at Parris Island I camped it up in Paris, France. Which begs the question, does my subconscious have a sense of humor and taste for irony? Then there is the phone call from my cell phone to A* during drill. Clearly not reality but at the same time a good representation of a conversation he and I had earlier that day. Who knows?!?

'til later, sweet dreams...

Diet Advice

Interesting read... Why Diets Fail - Men's Health. It should prove a good inspiration when the diet starts to wander. Of course I still need to pick it up to full speed but the last few days have been modestly successful so I'm not too disappointed.

Something ODD is happening to my post as there should have been two in the last few days but the just aren't showing up (they were sent via e-mail post). Hopefully this isn't a big problem as I find it rather convenient to post this way, there is something about writing an e-mail that doesn't seem to translate into posting a blog on the website.

The Big Bash meeting tonight was good. It is hard to believe that it is only two months away now. We definitely need to pick up the pace. I've got a tonne of work ahead of me. Speaking of which...

'til later,

D

Day 01

Ok so some starter information...

I've had most if not all of my priorities thrown up in the air for the last few years and things have slowly spiraled out of control. So what better time than New Year to start over and get things back on track. Now obviously this will take some amount of effort and will undoubtedly be fraught with certain hardship but in the long run I think most people will agree that this will be a good thing. The details of course will work them selves out as we move along. For now let's just try to keep our eyes on the prize.

Happy New Year!

So here we are, time for our resolutions. Some are the usual although I fully intend to keep, I've been there before so I know I can do it, plus with some of my other resolutions this may be easier than I think. So let's see...

1. Eat healthy - This isn't a diet so much as a lifestyle. It isn't as hard as you would think it simply means you need to eat in moderation and eat those things that you already know are good for you.
2. Exercise - Again not so bad when you put your mind to it. I did it for years and just got out of the habit. The two factors against me right now are the 'others' that will fail by March or so and the time that I will spend away from 'A'
3. Worry less - If I am going to live for any period of time I need to recognize that I cannot effect everything. I just need to get over it. And so I shall...
4. Love more - need I say more?!?
5. and lastly I think that I am going to stop drinking - I know, stop the presses but hey it may be a good thing for me and besides it will help with my other resolutions so it is kind of a win-win when you think about it.

So there you have it. I will try to keep ya'll up to speed on my progress. Here's hoping, eh!?!

So this is Christmas...

Actually not a bad night for a pre-Christmas party. Glad that we were able to gather as friends again for the first and in some case the last time. In many ways I know that I have learned and grown from who I've met in this last year. Love has obviously been a major part of that and I am glad for the growth if not just the love and friendship that I have benifited from in these last days. I look forward to so many more.

As always, know that you're loved.

D

WHY MOVE TO CANADA?

Reasons to move to Canada, as cited by www.canadianalternative.com:

1. Canada has universal public health care.

2. Canada has no troops in Iraq.

3. Canada signed the Kyoto Protocol environmental treaty.

4. More than half of Canada's provinces allow same-sex marriage.

5. The Canadian Senate recommends legalizing marijuana.

6. Canada has no law restricting abortion.

7. Canada has strict gun laws and relatively little violence.

8. The United Nations has ranked Canada the best country to live in for eight consecutive years.

9. Canada abolished the death penalty in 1976.

10. Canada has not run a federal deficit since 1996-97.

Gearing up for War

I've not been looking forward to this but it appears there is no real choice. I can sit by and do nothing, but I know I would regret that far more than doing what I can and failing (which I hope does not happen.) The battle for same-sex marriage here in Michigan will be on the ballot this November, making us only the third state in the union to amend their constitution to do so. It is regrettable that this has to happen but it will again put the topic front and center. I am firmly convinced that through education and personal reflection many hearts will change. Perhaps not in time for Michigan but the tide has been turning our way for some time, let's hope it keeps going that way.

D

"Cowardice asks the question--is it safe? Expediency asks the question--is it politic? Vanity asks the question--is it popular? But conscience asks the question--is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right." --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Happiness is...

Sometime we forget to pause for a moment and appreciate the simple things in life.  You know, all of the little things that while seemingly unimportant for a "big picture" point of view are the very thing that makes our life just that, our.  I like my life and am happy.  I guess sometimes I forget that.  

 

I've been feeling a little blue lately so I guess it makes sense that other have begun to pick up on it.  I know my friends are probably a touch frustrated with me and I know A* has questioned if I still love him or not.  The truth is I could be happier.  I may be frustrated from time to time but then who isn't?  Like I said.  I need to remember to measure my life against what I want and who I am rather than using others as the standard for happiness.  Who knew right?!?

 

Anyway, I hope everyone out there is happy too.

 

As always...

 

Know that you're loved.

 

D

Happy Pride!

Wow,

 

Ok so I've been away for a while.  Go figure this isn't something new.  Well that's OK cause I've been having a blast.  This last weekend at pride was the best.  My hat's off to Labatt and Molson for granting me blurred vision of the last week.  Who knew... oh wait.

 

So there is a tonne to catch up on and no time to do it.  Suffice to say there are many a tale that would be a shame it they were not shared; plus many a pic that could equally be enjoyed.  Hopefully this evening will grant be the time to journal them. 

 

Oh what fun.

 

Oh the Places You'll Go

So I'm back from Toronto. I know I didn't even mention that I went but that is because it was a bit of a spur of the moment type thing that developed while I was in Mexico. Oh Mexico, I forgot about that too...

True to form no trip to Mexico would be complete without some drama, right!?! This time I lost my passport. So let's recap: I've lost my passport, had my wallet stolen, forgotten my luggage in the back of the taxi, been on the plane during an emergency landing due to low fuel (complete with fire engines racing alongside us on the tarmac, been diverted to Memphis due to the Great Power Outage of 2003, and nearly lost my job when I told the assembly plant guard to go have sex with himself in his native language. So I'm picking up a trend here.

Anyway, Toronto was fabulous as always.  We had our fair share of drama there as well (some people just don't know their limits, others are not quite versed in proper party etiquette, but at least there is hope.)

My only hope is that we do not have a repeat at Pride.

C'est La Vie

Sitting at the bar last night I noticed a table of guys sitting around watching the football game on TV. One came up the bar and ordered drinks for the table in perfect Spanish. I was a bit surprise because although they could have been they just didn't look Mexican. First of all they were cute and the cloths they were wearing had a more European style to them. As it happened I knew one of the engineers playing pool which was just behind their table. While I was talking to them I heard them talking, but not in Spanish but rather French. Ou la la. I sat there and listened to their conversation, not picking up nearly enough to understand, but the sound of their language was so beautiful. I'd forgotten how much more elegant French is, particularly when compared to Spanish. It was quite a treat. After re-calibrating my gaydar to account for the Euro-factor they fell off the map, but oh how they would have been a treat.

So I complained yesterday about the tedium that is working in Mexico. Today karma stepped in and took me bowling with the Supplier Quality Manager from our customer. You have to say something about going bowling in the middle of the day with someone who normally inspires fear rather than fun. It was a good break from the norm and I managed to break 100 on each game; not bad for someone who rarely bowls at all. I didn't care for the 'high-fives' that followed each bowler in each frame. I have yet to figure out if they just wanted to increase the machismo of bowling or just needed the ego boost. Straights... go figure.

Of course to balance that out it is the rainy season here and some of the cactus are beginning to bloom. I brought my camera but proceeded to forget the memory card. I have my small one but that holds only a handful of pictures. I guess I get what I can and hopefully post a few later.

Saludos

Sunrise, Sunset

Working in Mexico isn't a whole lot of fun. I leave for the plant about the time the sun is rising. Stand around at the assembly plant most of the day waiting for something to happen. Most of the time it is a completely uneventful day (which in a way is good, but gosh is it boring.) Lunch is usually something quick and dirty, such as the Taco stand across the street from the plant. (My best advice is to not eat there and if you do, do not look behind the counter to see how they do it.) I've survived so far, but then I probably just jinxed myself.

Anyway, after we are done at the assembly plant I head over to my manufacturing plant. There I get to argue with my own coworkers as to what is truly important and where we should be spending the majority of our resources. They do things different down here, I'll leave it at that.

Once I am done with that there is the mountain of paper work that needs to be processed on any regular day. After getting sick of waiting form my internet connection to do something I usually call it a day around 8. At that time I can make it back to the hotel and order room service because I am just too tired to go out at that point. If I am lucky I will get three or four continuous hours of sleep before I wake up to do it again.

So for those of you that say, "Gee, Mexico how nice!" think about that before thinking I am on some sort of boondoggle.

Have a great day

Random Thoughts

Have you ever noticed the moment the lead flight attendant announces that you need to remain in your seats until we are parked at the gate is precisely when most people take their seat belts off?!?

If you are in a line on a moving side walk which is hopelessly clogged, because someone up front is either to ignorant to notice everyone behind him or just doesn't care, do you really need to push your way through that line when everyone else wants to be moving as well but can't.

Don't you think that getting on to an elevator, before everyone that is getting off has had a chance to do so, is kind of like wiping you butt before you shit?

What happened?

So I've realized that in many ways those things that were important to me before have taken a bit of a back seat to other things. I don't go to the gym much any more and while I can definitely tell the difference and want to have a better body I cannot seem to find the motivation to do so. I read some of my early blogs and again realized that at one point I put a lot more into these than I do now as well. Well the fact of the matter is that this isn't because things are bad or my life is so tortuous that I no longer do those things that seemed to give me some degree of happiness in the past. Things are actually really good. And that is just it, while I am extremely busy and find little time for some of the more frivolous things in life (like the time to write a decent blog) many of those things I did previously were more filler than anything else. I did them to pass the time. They were distractions of a sort to get me through the day. I don't have much free time because I am busy doing those things that I want to do.

That said I need to focus more on certain things that have fallen by the wayside because well they are important to me. They just took a back burner while I focused on other more important things.

Besides you all want to know about the "Jungle Juice Party" not my job or my woes. So be it... later, when I have time.

HI

We spent the evening looking at new cars, tonight. A* has had the itch to get something knew lately and is thinking of getting something new and shiny to replace his Saturn. We looked at a few different cars. I would have preferred to look at the new Chrysler 300 C. Way out of budget but a boy can dream right? At the Dodge dealership we test drove a Dodge SRT-4. I nearly wet myself. Now granted it isn’t a Porsche but boy was that car fun. Getting back into my car after that one just didn’t cut it.

The countdown to Toronto Pride is on. I can hardly wait! I definitely need to get myself to the gym and get this body into prime shape for that event! So who else is going?!?

I’m taking a break from trying to re-educate my computer. I had to wipe it some time back (the third time in as many months.) This time Firewalls and Blockers and everything you can imagine is between me and the bad people. So be ware. ‘til later.

Know that you're loved,

D

"Peace, it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." -Unknown

This Just In

Breaking News: To good to wait until later. PZ has now made the airwaves in metro Detroit. Flim at eleven.

This is NOT a Test

PLEASE STAND BY. WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING SOME MINOR TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.

So the worm has crippled my computer. I am slowly backing up files and preparing it for a complete lobotomy. Frustrating to say the least as this will be the third time in 3 months on a brand new computer. Ya gotta love Windows XP!

So in other new Toronto Pride is only 49 days away. I need to get my but to the gym and stick to eatting healthy a little bit better. I gots ta look good fo' my peeps! Trust!

After the blogging Holiday

OK, OK I suck I know. Well of course I do but that is an entirely different story. I have been crazy busy - as usual - but then I really do think I like it that way. I tend to get a little frazzled from time to time and I swear I feel like I'm always on the go but when I sit for even a short period of time I get antsy and cannot help but want to do something. Now that's not to say that I don't indulge myself every now and again but really even when I rent a movie and watch it I end up doing something else at the same time. Multi-tasking that is, or as Michael would say "zat is very Efficient, ya!" or something like that. Thing is in all of my doing a little bit of everything blogging things down just doesn't seem to fall on the list. It also doesn't help that my computer caught a cold.

So anyway as a quick catch up...

Tuesday night A* and I have dinner with ARE at our place and end up at the MB. Complete mess. Why I go out drinking on a work night is absolutely beyond me. (sometimes I wonder why I go out drinking at all, but then again...)

The rest of the week was pretty low key. Did a lot of work around the house and yard. A* headed back to Louisville for the Derby on Friday leaving me to my own devices. I managed to get quite a few little tasks done around the house and managed to hang out with some friends as well. All in all not a bad weekend, although I could have done without the rain.

This week proves to be interesting. I seem to be on a roll with some of the renovations I have going so I am going to try my hardest to stay focused on that. We'll see. Stay tuned.