Photographs of Detroit

I had the chance to wander around downtown Detroit this past Friday afternoon. I had to stop by Ilitch Holdings to pick up their contribution to this year's Big Bash Live Auction.

Afterwards since I didn't have anything else compelling to do I wandered around for a while taking pictures.

Huh?!?

I even managed to take one picture that I submitted to the Mirror Project. I've forgotten how relaxing it can be to just wander without direction and just take in the world around you. (Although one could argue that is what I have been doing for the last few weeks.)

Cash strapped my ass!

Apparently buying a stone is more important than keeping people employed...

Big Bash 2005

Have you bought your ticket?

So now what?!?

Good question!

I really don't know what it is that I am supposed to be doing right now in my life. I mean, I know I need to try to find a job and once that is taken care of that could be that. Let's face it though, I do not honestly believe that it will be that simple. Let's assume that I do get a job in the next few weeks, and let's assume that I make as much money (if not more - I can hope) as my last job. What then??? Do I like this job or is it more of the same? Do I know what it is that I want to do? Do I struggle through life like the rest of the cattle, trying to make ends meet, never really making an impact on the world as a whole and never truly being happy because I neither work in a job that I find fulfilling or I do not make enough money to compensate for the former? Do I go back to school and if so for what? Do I go full time or nights? Do I move from here or do I stick it out? When will I know? When will it be too late? Do I change my career? Can I accept a pay cut to do something that I would rather do? What is it that I want to do again? Am I happy? Could someone please let me know when I am? Do I want too much or is it that I have my sights set too low? Should I take my chances with a multi-level marketing scheme, I mean business, or do I run for the hills and do something different? Could I be successful as an eBay reseller? Should I start a new business or franchise with a current one? What? When? Where? How? And Why? (does Which go in there?)

Of course I could put the same question to this blog. What is it's purpose again? Does anyone read this? Does anyone care? Am I entertaining myself or do yawl get a kick out of my pedantic psychobabble? Can I be truly honest or do I censor myself for fear that others may read what I write? Am I even conscience of whether or not I censor what I write? Have I already said too much, or do you want more? Where is the line? Does this make sense to you? Have I run on enough for today or should I keep going? Are you still there? Is this thing on? Hello?

Delight rouge

Scary huh?!?

Looks like I could use some of that L' Oreal.

Magic make-up

Hey if it makes me look that good I'm in.

We interrupt this blog

Umm... Silicon Valley we have a problem.

Actually I have had quite a few problems with just about everything on-line lately. Nothing in great measure but it all adds up to being a pain in the buttocks. Apparently a portion of yesterdays blog was omitted. I know it was there because I added links to text that was a part of the missing. Corrections seen below in darker blue (we queers would call it periwinkle.)

I've also had some problems with my website, which I had hoped would be a good place to post many of the photos taken from last summer. Sure there are other ways but this should not be any more difficult. The garbage that is there right not is only because I have been testing to see if I could get it to work. No success yet. Stay tuned.

It would also appear that the application I have been using to add the photos to my blog is now giving me fits and starts. I suspect some of all of my problems lay in the fact that I currently have multiple pop-up blocker/spamware blocker/spyware blocker/firewalls going right now. Some come with the browser. Some with the computer and some are after the fact. Regardless I am overloaded and now feel trapped by the very thing that was supposed to set me free... There is a metaphor in there to be sure.

Keep you fingers crossed for me, eh!?!

Therapy

So it is amazing how things happen. I was mudding and sanding drywall all day Saturday and though it is fairly mindless work my noggin was getting real traction. I thought about a lot of things - what has happened in my recent past, where I am presently and where my future may lead me. More so now than ever I need someone to talk to that can understand where I'm at and provide some guidance. Anyway, as I'm sanding an old soliloquy comes to my mind. It deals with life and the world around you and has always helped me refocus when things get rough. As I was kicking around on-line I noticed that one guy on Out in Chicago had the same poem on his own personal blog. It brought a smile to my face. On Monday while talking with my therapist he used a phase from the poem and I mentioned it's name. Ironically he had never heard of the poem before the previous evening when a colleague handed him his business card which has the single word "Desiderata" on the back of it. The coincidence was amusing. Clearly the universe is unfolding as it should.

There was some more here but frankly after the technical difficulties it was enough to recompile the last part of this first paragraph. Suffice to say that I know I need to have patience to see myself through the next phase of my life.

Know that you're loved,

D

Fashion Undies!

Why didn't I think of this?!?

So easy! Guys have been wearing patterned boxers forever and colored briefs but why not patterned briefs? It would seam apropos as the generation first introduced to underoos is now men, that we shouldn't have to give up on cool looking undies.

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of the time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery, but let this not blind you to what virtue there is, many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in times of sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be good to yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrman, 1927

Chevy SSR Raffle

Want to try and win this car?!?

For $100 this Chevy SSR could be yours. As part of General Motors ongoing support of Affirmations they have donated the SSR for a raffle. The proceeds from which will go to help support the Capital Campaign for the Centers new home.

To date few tickets have sold, and sales are limited to 1000, so either way your odds of winning are good. Why not take a chance?!?

Just a helpful suggestion

Never eat tuna fish immediately before doing anything that may require you to where a dust mask.

Speaking of Taxes

Just found out that on top of having a portion of my trip to San Antonio tax deductible for job search reasons, I could potential deduct the remainder due to doctor prescribed relaxation treatment (we call them vacations). Oh my! Of course I still need to justify the expenditure as unemployment isn't going to go too far, all the same it may be a good thing for me.

Oh my! It is big!

It's no wonder gay men are drawn to Toronto!

What to do, what to do

A* is off to TO this weekend. He will be taking the Hummer and cannot stop talking about it. Myself on the other hand will be spending the weekend at home. Normally this would be a good thing as we do spend a fair amount of time together so time apart is appreciated; however I've spent the last month at home without a job. While I have definitely spent some time working on finding a job and interviewing I have also spent quite a bit of time inside this otherwise empty house. It gets to bit dull after awhile.

That said I have many other issues to attend to in my life right now and should definitely avail myself to the time that I have. Going to the gym, working on the home renovations, and doing so various stuff on-line are definite things that I WANT to do. It is only a matter of coordinating those things with the rest of my expectations that I need to balance. I suppose that should be more than enough to keep me occupied for the next week let alone until Monday! So be it.

San Antonio

Thoughts on Texas. It may not be the most liberal state in the country and the political shenanigans that have gone on there lately leave much to be desired. All the same it might be nice out there who knows?!? At least I certainly do not. Well, that may change. I have previously thought about going somewhere for a vacation and why not Texas? It will be plenty warm, although really anything would be warmer than here and it does have a lot to do. Not to mention the fact that I would like to interview out there and thus may be able to deduct some of the expense from next years taxes. (Having just finished 2004 it is fresh on my mind)

So let's have a go of it. I want to do a little more research to make sure I don't waste my time and it would be nice to be able to know I will have money to pay for the trip but hey isn't that the point of the trip. Take a chance...

Moving Forward

It seems more and more clear that I should look beyond where I am right now. I have thought about getting out of town, both for the weekend and forever. It would make sense then to perhaps intermingle the two in the form of job interviews or at least prospecting. I have in the past thought about going the Toyota way and know that the last great hope for the industry lays in that direction. They have a new project going up in Texas which is both some where I've though about visiting and living in previously. This may be that chance. I still need a few things to come into alignment but we can work on that right?!?

How do you plead?!?

Things went smoother than I would have expected but then it is my impression it is more about bringing in revenue rather than punishing, preventing or rehabilitating. Due to a paperwork glitch I had the lesser of the two issues dropped and the other reduced. Fees and penances have yet to be levied as I have been asked to participate in a "mock trial" at one of the local high schools. This should be interesting. According to consul things should be more lenient as a courtesy for participating. Let's hope so. Still I would have almost rather had this over so that I could get on with it. Waiting and wondering is the worst part of it all.

On an interesting side note we got to see one of the "dancers" from the Troll Coast... I mean Gold Coast get it for a page long list of items. Not surprised, still he didn't seem to care for the sentence and looked quite scared. My guess is he was a Top, and I stress was. (giggles)

Tick tock

Tomorrow is the big day. Or at least the next big day in what will ultimately lead up to The Big Day. I'm nervous to be sure, but oddly calm. I suppose much has to do with the fact that I cannot do much about the past and the future outcome is yet to be determined. Worrying about it to much beyond planning and putting that plan aside until needed is pointless. I do want it to be over and tonight it is starting to hit me again that this is still going to require my full efforts and will obviously effect me for the rest of my life. Let keep our fingers crossed shall we!?!

Well DUH!!!

So it would appear that I am chronically depressed. That and $2.00 will get you a latte. I paid a lot of money for someone to tell me that I'm depressed! Now I will grant him that the diagnosis is slightly more involved than that and the whole of the diagnosis is dead on. I mean some of my friends or family probably don't know me as well as someone who may read that report. Thank God it's confidential. But, really! Did I need to pay someone for that information? Especially given that the result is... "You, should probably see a therapist to work through some of this and develop a plan to manage this." Isn't that why I came to you in the first place?!? Thanks Bud. No who do I make the check out to?

Happy VD

I had to... So Happy Valentine's Day!

I started a tradition a few years back of signing off on my e-mails with "Know that you're loved," on Valentine's Day. There are times when I take it off, more so lately with the many e-mails to prospective employer's but still I believe there is much value in it.

It started off as a response to many things that where going on in my life at the time. I was single and depressed (more later) and desperately needed to feel loved myself at the time. I knew I loved many others, in varying degrees, and so it goes that I send out my e-mail with a simple note.

I was also fed up with the Christian Right feeding us this "Love the sinner, hate the sin" BS, that clearly was the current lie-de-jour. I even recall one particularly vile so called Christian us the "I love you and that is why I want you to see the pain you are causing yourself. Don't you see how unhappy you are?" It was of course the perfect ruse. First establish a system that persecute a group and then tell them that you feel for their pain, while avoiding the root cause, and offer to help by changing who they are. So the statement that she loved me felt so false and shallow that I joked that we were loved.

The truth is I am glad that I did that and continue to use it as often as I can. So... Until next time.

Know that you're loved,

D

The rule of unintended consequences

Not having a job right now means that I can sleep-in if I want. Being the type of person who relishes sleep, but rarely having the opportunity to do so I rather enjoy being able to get up when I please. The down side to that is that I don't feel like I get enough done during the day. Sure I have a decent lead on a job right now so I best take advantage of the chance while it lasts but that is sort of like putting all of my eggs in one basket. Outside of job hunting, there are plenty of things that I can do around the house that I should be doing as well not to mention that A* might appreciate. The largest down side is that it is now almost 1AM am I'm not the least bit tired. Unintended consequence. I cannot fall asleep at night.

Having spent the last few weeks with NPR playing in the background I have begun to realize that most things these days have unintended consequences. Think about it - Social Security, the Iraq War, Smoking Ban's you name it and you can probably find some out come that was not only not anticipated but counter productive. I hope to go through some of these issues in more detail as they seem to be interesting to me and I hope to you.

Not that I think they are all unintended and that is where some of the most fierce debates will come.

Stay tuned...

Afternoon Tea at Tiffany's

Oh the fun I could have had. We met with the local store director at Tiffany & Co. to discuss their sponsoring Affirmation's Big Bash 2005. They were more excited about it than we were, if that it possible. Their initial response is that they will be donating a bar set put together from their collection of sterling sliver ware and crystal. I cannot wait to see what the final product will be.

It was real fun to be behind the scene's at the store, even the general office's have an air of sophistication to them. Being just before Valentine's Day they had several pieces pulled together for a spot on Channel 7, tomorrow. The diamond selected was 3 plus carets. My eyes are still spinning.

It's not Nick

I am baby sitting for my twin this weekend. The little guy is only 3 1/2, as he will gladly inform you, but it is already clear he will be a sharp one. His mother is a physical therapist and has taken the opportunity during the lull at various sporting events to teach him almost every bone in the body as well as some muscle groups. I love it. He will also quickly correct you that his name is not Nick it is Nicholas. That particullar trait I suspect comes from my brother who from birth on insisted that we reffer to him by his full name. (I know I was thinking that was kinda gay too, but hey...) Anyway it should be a blast and I hope to update with some of our adventures.

Sell, Sell!

OK. I don't need the money right now, but if, though hopefully not when, I need the money I do not want to be left in the lurch. Based upon observations I have made I am not inspired and my faith in the leadership at the Company is one of distrust to begin with. Do I think they will come out of the current financial pressures?!? Sure, they always do. Do I think they will be major players for the foreseeable future? Yeah, but I see it diminishing. Do I think they will ever be major stock must-haves. Now would have I sold my entire portfolio if I did!?! Now, I cannot tell you what to do but, do you want to trust your money to a gang of men that act more out of their own self interest than your own. That balanced with the fact that they themselves are somewhat dependent upon the financial success of the Company. Who knows, for myself though, I sold.

The Return of the Queen

Gym Bunnies beware I have made my full return to that place of exercise.

A few observations:

1. During the day there are only retirees and middle aged women.
2. When you don't go to the gym for some time you cannot do the work out you did the last time you 'really' worked out.
3. Guys in gyms - I've seen dicks before. When you turn around to hide your goods you are just showing me you ass... Thank you!
4. Since when is the gym a day-care center?!?

So for now we'll try to take it easy. It felt good though.

You can, but WOULD you?!?

Postulate - There has been the debate that sex and love are completely separate things, and that both can be had without the other. I would concede that the above statement is partially true but fails to address the reality of this world which is if they are mutually exclusive can they not also be mutually inclusive and what combination is most preferred? The answer depends on what it is that you are looking for in the first place and what you want long term. The reasoning behind the answer may also highlight the difference between gender and sexual orientation and the way each uniquely, or not, approach the question.

Sex without Love - It is most certainly possible to have sex without love. Sex comes in many forms, regardless of what your definition of 'is' is, and its most basic form requires no love at all, masturbation. Certainly you can love yourself as you please yourself but that certainly doesn't have to be the case. Nightly, more common on the weekend, loveless sex can be found in the form of the one-night-stand. While in the long term love may be formed between the individuals involved this would violate the premise of the one-night-stand. Gay men quite commonly find this the most convenient form of mutual sex with no strings attached, not the least of which would be love. Of course in the most ferocious form of sex, rape, rarely if ever has any connection with the mutual concern for well-being, and deep emotional bond associated with love. Probably more common between a heterosexual pair, this is likely due to the difference perceptions and values placed not only on sex but the other individual involved. Unfortunately there are those that would condemn all of the above forms of sex as they do not adhere to the biblical directive that creates a sin for all of the above actions.

Love without Sex - Certainly love without the physical intimacy that sex brings between two individuals is entirely possible. However it is important to qualify what love is and how it differentiates across a spectrum. It is possible to love a thing, a place, or an idea without ever even considering the impossible concept of sex with that item. Religious figures commit their love to God and therefore what they can never achieve in the physical is said to be made up for in the spiritual. Even the love of other individuals is more often than not never more than love. The love between parents and their off-spring, siblings and even close friends are taboo to cross the line with sexual physical contact more extreme than a kiss or an embrace. During traditional courting periods, again the emotional bond and unifying love between two individuals develops before physical intimacy, particularly in the most conservative adherences.

Sex with Love - The love between two adult individuals is unique. In the instance of clergy, blood family and platonic friendships, introducing sex with their love would be more destructive than unitive. Sex between two grown and emotionally mature people has the power to bring those two closer as a result of the shared experience. It is the fact that these two individuals love each other that drives them to want the other person to experience as much pleasure, if not more, as they do themselves. The compounding effect can make the sexual experience more intense, and thus more pleasurable for all involved.

And - Beyond the physical pleasure felt during sex lies the emotional or spiritual intimacy involved. Because those in love often want more for the one they love than their own well being, sex provides one of the few win-win-win situations. As acknowledged earlier, sex on its own is pleasurable, and thus is expected to be pleasurable for both individuals involved. That pleasure can be intensified, if the fact that one is pleasing the other, is by itself a pleasurable feeling. This intensification can compound upon itself developing a crescendo of pleasure, to a climax of the sexual experience.

Therfore - It would be easy to deduce then that while love and sex can exist as mutual exclusive states of being that when combined they create a powerful experience unparalleled in by either of the two alone. Many conditions and considerations need to be accounted for the ideal situation but even in the imperfect can be at the minimum no less enjoyable than in the absence of one or the other. Ability to provide the physical and desire to be selfless in caring for the other create a sensation that should leave one thinking, "well sure I could, but why would I?!?"

Monster Day

Spent most of today working on my resume, searching through Monster, reading about what I should do next. All in all it was productive but stressful. I have begun to realize that I grew far too complacent in my previous position and should have done something about it long ago. For the first time since Wednesday I got butterflies in my stomach and really started to think about what lay ahead for me. Hopefully this will be a short experience and I will be back to dread the daily grind in no time. With any luck I just may find something I like and will definitely do things different moving forward.

Networking my way across the Blogosphere

I sent this out to friends and family yesterday. Now it is your turn...
__________________________________________________________________


Thursday, January 20, 2005
Greetings All,

I hope this letter finds you all in great spirits, rested from the holiday season and still committed to your New Year’s Resolutions. I myself am only 50/50 on the resolutions but then tomorrow is another chance to fix that right (why wait ‘til next year?!?) I had begun writing this letter, earlier this week, with an entirely different purpose in mind but recent circumstances have forced a change of plans.

Regrettably after four years and 8 months (I had just received the invite to my 5 year anniversary event earlier this month) I am no longer an employee of Lear Corporation. Fallen victim to the latest round of cuts that have been going on for the last two plus years, I was part of yesterday’s layoffs, more directly than I care. It was an interesting experience, the last four years, and the layoff, one that I have definitely grown from and do not regret.

Obviously a new chapter must now be forged and it is with that in mind that I now write you. I need your help. I will, of course, be doing quite a bit of work to return to productive society myself, but should you know of any opportunities out there I would appreciate it if you would keep me in mind. I am currently in the process of updating my résumé and will gladly forward it upon request. By way of back-ground information I have a BS in Chemical Engineering from Michigan State University, and previously worked as a Product Engineer working on hard trim (plastic) automotive interiors and have a total of 8 years automotive, and 3 years chemical work experience. Certainly I would be interested in a similar type position but am entertaining other opportunities as well.

I am lucky to be surrounded by great friends and family that support me (some have already proposed solutions), as well a boyfriend whose love knows no bound. While there is rarely a good time for something like this to happen I am blessed to be where I am now. After getting all of my ducks in a row, résumé updated, on-line job hunt applications filled out and phone calls made you will be one of my best resources.

Thank you again.

Know that you're loved,

D

"Peace, it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." -Unknown

David T. Light
612 S. Dorchester Ave
Royal Oak, MI 48067-4048
Home: (248) 546-1267

Well, that shows what I know

Why "Hail to the Chief"? - How it became the presidential song. By Andy Bowers:
"Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,
Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.
Hail to the Chief, as we pledge co-operation
In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.
Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
This you will do, That's our strong, firm belief.
Hail to the one we selected as commander,
Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!"

I though it was "Hail to the Cheif! He's the one we all say hail to."

Actually I've never liked Pink

It has happened. This afternoon my director came over to my desk and asked if he could speak with me. Odd because he does not have an office in my building but not unreasonable because his employees do and our relationship is such that this would not be out of order. We step into one of the managers offices where he introduces me to our HR manager. Still I am thinking what is the problem that he needs my knowledge about. Or does this have something to do with the e-mail I sent out earlier in the day that stated I do not have the responsibility to do something requested of me (I thought that because I noticed he read the e-mail almost immediately when he usually doesn't in the same day.) Couldn't be that... As HR offers a chair (this isn't her office mind you) I notice a form letter on the table were we sit. A promotion?!? I'll admit I am overdue for a promotion but the timing is all wrong so nope. They've found out about other issues?!? Nah, that could be but isn't likely... So what then? As I sit and look to my director the words on the letter I had glanced a second before came into view in my mind and finally registered "severance".

"Dave" says my boss, the same man who was once my customer and equal, "we've got some bad news. There has been some cut backs and we are going to have to let you go."

Oh that's all.... Why all the drama? Don't you thin you could have at least done me the favor of letting me sleep in today?!? Wouldn't it have been better if you had waited until I was half way to Mexico to tell me? I thought this was something serious. As HR went through the package they were offering me the only thought going on in my head was, "Wow, this Paxil really does work." I couldn't believe it. I sort of wanted to cry but I couldn't. I think I even manage to crack a joke.

Seriously though I was panicking and scared but my outward demeanor never betrayed that. You say many things about the way I handled myself during many occasions at that place but for sure I went out with class.

I wish I could have had more time to grant my good-byes and leave a few choice words for a few of my now former co-workers by alas it was not to be. So good-bye, good luck and just because you have activated your turn indicator doesn't automatically grant you the right to get into the lane next to you.

It's a small world and a smaller industry, I'll see you all soon. In the mean time...

Know that you're loved,

D

Step one

A light breakfast and a protein shake, whey protein not the other kind ;-), AM Yoga followed by a trip to the gym and a stop at the market for lunch. Not a bad start to the weekend. Just checking in on-line, here (of course), here and here. Oh did I mention,

Darkness Comes

Things have been glum lately, and to be sure there have been more than enough issues going on that would certainly get even the best of us down but I cannot help but feel as though nothing is going right for me right now.

I do want to keep things light, pun intended, but there is the darkness that I suppose I did commit myself to acknowledging. This time of year tends to get many people blue. With the many other things that I am dealing with and the general stress from work it makes sense that I would be a bit depressed (dark) right now. Tomorrow definitely calls for a full on pick-me up day. I suppose I best get some rest so that I can be at my best in the morning.

I've heard of lesbian bed death but...

Is it possible for gay men to suffer the same fate? Don't ask me I might be a little biased.

Boing

That sound you hear is my new Year's resolution imploding. No necessarily an abject failure but I've certainly not eaten right nor have I made it to the gym yet. It can definitely be said that so far things have not gotten off to the right foot. Heck the left foot would be fine with me right now, I just need to get off of my fat ass.

Dreams

Last night I had a dream. It was possibly one of the more vivid dreams I've had in some time, and equal parts surrealism, reality, and projection.

I joined the US Marines, which trust me is not on my list of things to do before I die. I cannot think of any particular reason I would have dreamt this scenario. My twin brother is a Marine so that is the closest I can think. It is possible that it could represent a focus on the discipline of boot camp that could represent a desire to reform or change the coarse of my life.

Rather than attending boot camp at Parris Island I camped it up in Paris, France. Which begs the question, does my subconscious have a sense of humor and taste for irony? Then there is the phone call from my cell phone to A* during drill. Clearly not reality but at the same time a good representation of a conversation he and I had earlier that day. Who knows?!?

'til later, sweet dreams...

Diet Advice

Interesting read... Why Diets Fail - Men's Health. It should prove a good inspiration when the diet starts to wander. Of course I still need to pick it up to full speed but the last few days have been modestly successful so I'm not too disappointed.

Something ODD is happening to my post as there should have been two in the last few days but the just aren't showing up (they were sent via e-mail post). Hopefully this isn't a big problem as I find it rather convenient to post this way, there is something about writing an e-mail that doesn't seem to translate into posting a blog on the website.

The Big Bash meeting tonight was good. It is hard to believe that it is only two months away now. We definitely need to pick up the pace. I've got a tonne of work ahead of me. Speaking of which...

'til later,

D

Day 01

Ok so some starter information...

I've had most if not all of my priorities thrown up in the air for the last few years and things have slowly spiraled out of control. So what better time than New Year to start over and get things back on track. Now obviously this will take some amount of effort and will undoubtedly be fraught with certain hardship but in the long run I think most people will agree that this will be a good thing. The details of course will work them selves out as we move along. For now let's just try to keep our eyes on the prize.

Happy New Year!

So here we are, time for our resolutions. Some are the usual although I fully intend to keep, I've been there before so I know I can do it, plus with some of my other resolutions this may be easier than I think. So let's see...

1. Eat healthy - This isn't a diet so much as a lifestyle. It isn't as hard as you would think it simply means you need to eat in moderation and eat those things that you already know are good for you.
2. Exercise - Again not so bad when you put your mind to it. I did it for years and just got out of the habit. The two factors against me right now are the 'others' that will fail by March or so and the time that I will spend away from 'A'
3. Worry less - If I am going to live for any period of time I need to recognize that I cannot effect everything. I just need to get over it. And so I shall...
4. Love more - need I say more?!?
5. and lastly I think that I am going to stop drinking - I know, stop the presses but hey it may be a good thing for me and besides it will help with my other resolutions so it is kind of a win-win when you think about it.

So there you have it. I will try to keep ya'll up to speed on my progress. Here's hoping, eh!?!

So this is Christmas...

Actually not a bad night for a pre-Christmas party. Glad that we were able to gather as friends again for the first and in some case the last time. In many ways I know that I have learned and grown from who I've met in this last year. Love has obviously been a major part of that and I am glad for the growth if not just the love and friendship that I have benifited from in these last days. I look forward to so many more.

As always, know that you're loved.

D

WHY MOVE TO CANADA?

Reasons to move to Canada, as cited by www.canadianalternative.com:

1. Canada has universal public health care.

2. Canada has no troops in Iraq.

3. Canada signed the Kyoto Protocol environmental treaty.

4. More than half of Canada's provinces allow same-sex marriage.

5. The Canadian Senate recommends legalizing marijuana.

6. Canada has no law restricting abortion.

7. Canada has strict gun laws and relatively little violence.

8. The United Nations has ranked Canada the best country to live in for eight consecutive years.

9. Canada abolished the death penalty in 1976.

10. Canada has not run a federal deficit since 1996-97.

Gearing up for War

I've not been looking forward to this but it appears there is no real choice. I can sit by and do nothing, but I know I would regret that far more than doing what I can and failing (which I hope does not happen.) The battle for same-sex marriage here in Michigan will be on the ballot this November, making us only the third state in the union to amend their constitution to do so. It is regrettable that this has to happen but it will again put the topic front and center. I am firmly convinced that through education and personal reflection many hearts will change. Perhaps not in time for Michigan but the tide has been turning our way for some time, let's hope it keeps going that way.

D

"Cowardice asks the question--is it safe? Expediency asks the question--is it politic? Vanity asks the question--is it popular? But conscience asks the question--is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right." --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Happiness is...

Sometime we forget to pause for a moment and appreciate the simple things in life.  You know, all of the little things that while seemingly unimportant for a "big picture" point of view are the very thing that makes our life just that, our.  I like my life and am happy.  I guess sometimes I forget that.  

 

I've been feeling a little blue lately so I guess it makes sense that other have begun to pick up on it.  I know my friends are probably a touch frustrated with me and I know A* has questioned if I still love him or not.  The truth is I could be happier.  I may be frustrated from time to time but then who isn't?  Like I said.  I need to remember to measure my life against what I want and who I am rather than using others as the standard for happiness.  Who knew right?!?

 

Anyway, I hope everyone out there is happy too.

 

As always...

 

Know that you're loved.

 

D

Happy Pride!

Wow,

 

Ok so I've been away for a while.  Go figure this isn't something new.  Well that's OK cause I've been having a blast.  This last weekend at pride was the best.  My hat's off to Labatt and Molson for granting me blurred vision of the last week.  Who knew... oh wait.

 

So there is a tonne to catch up on and no time to do it.  Suffice to say there are many a tale that would be a shame it they were not shared; plus many a pic that could equally be enjoyed.  Hopefully this evening will grant be the time to journal them. 

 

Oh what fun.

 

Oh the Places You'll Go

So I'm back from Toronto. I know I didn't even mention that I went but that is because it was a bit of a spur of the moment type thing that developed while I was in Mexico. Oh Mexico, I forgot about that too...

True to form no trip to Mexico would be complete without some drama, right!?! This time I lost my passport. So let's recap: I've lost my passport, had my wallet stolen, forgotten my luggage in the back of the taxi, been on the plane during an emergency landing due to low fuel (complete with fire engines racing alongside us on the tarmac, been diverted to Memphis due to the Great Power Outage of 2003, and nearly lost my job when I told the assembly plant guard to go have sex with himself in his native language. So I'm picking up a trend here.

Anyway, Toronto was fabulous as always.  We had our fair share of drama there as well (some people just don't know their limits, others are not quite versed in proper party etiquette, but at least there is hope.)

My only hope is that we do not have a repeat at Pride.

C'est La Vie

Sitting at the bar last night I noticed a table of guys sitting around watching the football game on TV. One came up the bar and ordered drinks for the table in perfect Spanish. I was a bit surprise because although they could have been they just didn't look Mexican. First of all they were cute and the cloths they were wearing had a more European style to them. As it happened I knew one of the engineers playing pool which was just behind their table. While I was talking to them I heard them talking, but not in Spanish but rather French. Ou la la. I sat there and listened to their conversation, not picking up nearly enough to understand, but the sound of their language was so beautiful. I'd forgotten how much more elegant French is, particularly when compared to Spanish. It was quite a treat. After re-calibrating my gaydar to account for the Euro-factor they fell off the map, but oh how they would have been a treat.

So I complained yesterday about the tedium that is working in Mexico. Today karma stepped in and took me bowling with the Supplier Quality Manager from our customer. You have to say something about going bowling in the middle of the day with someone who normally inspires fear rather than fun. It was a good break from the norm and I managed to break 100 on each game; not bad for someone who rarely bowls at all. I didn't care for the 'high-fives' that followed each bowler in each frame. I have yet to figure out if they just wanted to increase the machismo of bowling or just needed the ego boost. Straights... go figure.

Of course to balance that out it is the rainy season here and some of the cactus are beginning to bloom. I brought my camera but proceeded to forget the memory card. I have my small one but that holds only a handful of pictures. I guess I get what I can and hopefully post a few later.

Saludos

Sunrise, Sunset

Working in Mexico isn't a whole lot of fun. I leave for the plant about the time the sun is rising. Stand around at the assembly plant most of the day waiting for something to happen. Most of the time it is a completely uneventful day (which in a way is good, but gosh is it boring.) Lunch is usually something quick and dirty, such as the Taco stand across the street from the plant. (My best advice is to not eat there and if you do, do not look behind the counter to see how they do it.) I've survived so far, but then I probably just jinxed myself.

Anyway, after we are done at the assembly plant I head over to my manufacturing plant. There I get to argue with my own coworkers as to what is truly important and where we should be spending the majority of our resources. They do things different down here, I'll leave it at that.

Once I am done with that there is the mountain of paper work that needs to be processed on any regular day. After getting sick of waiting form my internet connection to do something I usually call it a day around 8. At that time I can make it back to the hotel and order room service because I am just too tired to go out at that point. If I am lucky I will get three or four continuous hours of sleep before I wake up to do it again.

So for those of you that say, "Gee, Mexico how nice!" think about that before thinking I am on some sort of boondoggle.

Have a great day

Random Thoughts

Have you ever noticed the moment the lead flight attendant announces that you need to remain in your seats until we are parked at the gate is precisely when most people take their seat belts off?!?

If you are in a line on a moving side walk which is hopelessly clogged, because someone up front is either to ignorant to notice everyone behind him or just doesn't care, do you really need to push your way through that line when everyone else wants to be moving as well but can't.

Don't you think that getting on to an elevator, before everyone that is getting off has had a chance to do so, is kind of like wiping you butt before you shit?

What happened?

So I've realized that in many ways those things that were important to me before have taken a bit of a back seat to other things. I don't go to the gym much any more and while I can definitely tell the difference and want to have a better body I cannot seem to find the motivation to do so. I read some of my early blogs and again realized that at one point I put a lot more into these than I do now as well. Well the fact of the matter is that this isn't because things are bad or my life is so tortuous that I no longer do those things that seemed to give me some degree of happiness in the past. Things are actually really good. And that is just it, while I am extremely busy and find little time for some of the more frivolous things in life (like the time to write a decent blog) many of those things I did previously were more filler than anything else. I did them to pass the time. They were distractions of a sort to get me through the day. I don't have much free time because I am busy doing those things that I want to do.

That said I need to focus more on certain things that have fallen by the wayside because well they are important to me. They just took a back burner while I focused on other more important things.

Besides you all want to know about the "Jungle Juice Party" not my job or my woes. So be it... later, when I have time.

HI

We spent the evening looking at new cars, tonight. A* has had the itch to get something knew lately and is thinking of getting something new and shiny to replace his Saturn. We looked at a few different cars. I would have preferred to look at the new Chrysler 300 C. Way out of budget but a boy can dream right? At the Dodge dealership we test drove a Dodge SRT-4. I nearly wet myself. Now granted it isn’t a Porsche but boy was that car fun. Getting back into my car after that one just didn’t cut it.

The countdown to Toronto Pride is on. I can hardly wait! I definitely need to get myself to the gym and get this body into prime shape for that event! So who else is going?!?

I’m taking a break from trying to re-educate my computer. I had to wipe it some time back (the third time in as many months.) This time Firewalls and Blockers and everything you can imagine is between me and the bad people. So be ware. ‘til later.

Know that you're loved,

D

"Peace, it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." -Unknown

This Just In

Breaking News: To good to wait until later. PZ has now made the airwaves in metro Detroit. Flim at eleven.

This is NOT a Test

PLEASE STAND BY. WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING SOME MINOR TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.

So the worm has crippled my computer. I am slowly backing up files and preparing it for a complete lobotomy. Frustrating to say the least as this will be the third time in 3 months on a brand new computer. Ya gotta love Windows XP!

So in other new Toronto Pride is only 49 days away. I need to get my but to the gym and stick to eatting healthy a little bit better. I gots ta look good fo' my peeps! Trust!

After the blogging Holiday

OK, OK I suck I know. Well of course I do but that is an entirely different story. I have been crazy busy - as usual - but then I really do think I like it that way. I tend to get a little frazzled from time to time and I swear I feel like I'm always on the go but when I sit for even a short period of time I get antsy and cannot help but want to do something. Now that's not to say that I don't indulge myself every now and again but really even when I rent a movie and watch it I end up doing something else at the same time. Multi-tasking that is, or as Michael would say "zat is very Efficient, ya!" or something like that. Thing is in all of my doing a little bit of everything blogging things down just doesn't seem to fall on the list. It also doesn't help that my computer caught a cold.

So anyway as a quick catch up...

Tuesday night A* and I have dinner with ARE at our place and end up at the MB. Complete mess. Why I go out drinking on a work night is absolutely beyond me. (sometimes I wonder why I go out drinking at all, but then again...)

The rest of the week was pretty low key. Did a lot of work around the house and yard. A* headed back to Louisville for the Derby on Friday leaving me to my own devices. I managed to get quite a few little tasks done around the house and managed to hang out with some friends as well. All in all not a bad weekend, although I could have done without the rain.

This week proves to be interesting. I seem to be on a roll with some of the renovations I have going so I am going to try my hardest to stay focused on that. We'll see. Stay tuned.

Good Friends, Good Food

Dinner tonight at Bonfire Bistro with J&R. We meet them on our trip to Louisville last weekend. They are really fun guys, J was my dancing buddy to get the night started. Both of them are in really good shape (curse them) but are really down to earth and a general good time to hang out with. They may join us for drinks after at P!'s. We'll see.

This weekend MUST be an easy one. I swear I am still paying for last weekend.

I want to be a Jockey!

They sure know how to do it down in Kentucky! For the two weeks leading up to the Ketucky Derby the entire city of Louisville turns into one great big festival. The kick-off event is Thunder Over Louisville - perportedly the largest fire works event in all of North America. It was quite spectacular. Unfortunately as I knew we would be heading directly from the fireworks to the clubs I did not bring my camera. They were quite fantastic.

The club we hung out at the most Connections in Louisville, is a fun little gem. It has no few than nine bars and at least ten different areas. These are not your average bars or area either. It is sprwaling. The building itself takes up the better half of a city block. The music was good, I don't remember a momment where I wanted to stop dancing becaue of what was being played. The crowd on Saturday night was fun. Mixed in every combination imaginable, although it tended to be cute corn feed boi's with a masculinity and charm to them that with their accent just made me swoon.

As always A* had the PZ rocking, I even got in on the game. It helped that eleven of us from Detroit headed down there. We were a force to be reconned with to be certain. Some of us were veteran's others virgins to the game. By nights end the entire group had the velvet touch.

The clubs down there stay open until 4 AM. A good thing when you consider the party pro's that we are. Things wound down by about 5 in the morning but it was definately a place we will have to head back to!

See ya'll later now, hear!?!

Boom!

Thunder over Louisville. A fun time was had by all. More to come. Need to rest up first...

Conjunctivitis

Pink Eye the gift that keeps on giving. Need I say more?!?

Fish Fry

N&M have been together for 30 years. In typical lesbian fashion they were together since the second date. They threw a party to celebrate and A and I made an apperance. It was mostly older lesbian couples but some of the usual crowd was there as well so it wasn't a complete bore. A* implied to others later that it was dread full but I think he enjoyed himeself, must have been the fact that their how was pet free.

We made up for it by heading to the Eagle after that. It was completely on a whim but to our surprise that night was also the night of the Do-a-Fool Musical. People come in from all over to see that. We met a cool guy from St. Louis, MO wearing a kilt. It is just too bad for him that he had so little to show off with out anything on under there. The PZ was in full effect, A* even had a cute German via Australia un-cut and an accent to die for. To top it off my brother's boss from the USMC and his wife stopped by after calling me from the Rainbow Room, thinking that I would be there. I know I don't get it either. Apartently they had been to a Tartan Day celebration and didn't want to call it a night when the party ended so they thought of me. Now that I get. Anyway, the beauty of it was that Gunny was wearing a kilt too! Now I know it sounds bad but he had a baby smooth butt! I mean no hair, nothing, just perfect smooth skin. Round and frim too! A few times I took my attention away from him and let him fend for himself. It was like throwing him to the lions but it was fun to watch none the less.

Frat Boys & Gay Men

Had jay out to the MB last night. I had some business in GR during the day and met up with him in Lansing. After that we hit the road for home, but I had other plans. I knew A* and a few others we out for drinks so I figured in his present state we could use this to our advantage. Not that I figured it would go much further than getting him through the door but still. I wanted to get him there and I did. A* even managed to get him involved in a little game of petting zoo. Yep that's right. And when others stepped up to their turn at bat jay says that A* is the only one that can play! How about that?!? The powers that boy has, I'll never understand. Today is a slow one other wise. Hopefully the rest of the week will be just as low key.

Big Bash Revisited

As usual a good time was had by all. Too much to drink had by some. Wanna guess where I sit in that category?

The eyes have it

Drama table for one! Now seating Drama table for one.

SOLD OUT

We are quickly reaching sell out! When we started the organization of this year's Big Bash we had many detractors. Given that we are close to selling out every ticket and then some I would have to say that all fears have been relieved.

Umm...

Just call me the Green Lantern. Last night's "Light" show was over the Top.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I hope you wore your Green.

Drink's at Pronto! last night as a warm up to tonight. Got a call at 6:45AM to see if I was gonna hit the pub for breakfast. Umm... sounds like fun, 'cept that I need to go to work. Some friends were hitting the bar by 8 o'clock AM, with no intention of making it to work today. Not fair. Well, we'll see how they handle tomorrow.

Tickets! Get your tickets, here!

So what's the deal. I've been trying to sell tickets to the Big Bash - Affirmation's big fund raiser dinner - and have had several people avoiding me as a result of it. Now I know that some people for one reason or another cannot afford or are unwilling to spend money on the $125.00 ticket. I understand that. It is not as though I could always afford these tickets and I know why certain people can't afford to spend the money. That is OK. So when I ask you, "would you like to attend the Big Bash, and sit at my table." Feel free to say, "No, unfortunately at this time I cannot afford the ticket price." If you want to give me a more detailed explaination go ahead although you are under no obligation to do so. Likewise if I am not the only person to have asked you and for whatever reason you have decided to sit at the other individuals table, that too is OK. When it comes right down to it I don't mind that you are sitting at someone elses table, the important thing is that you are attending the dinner. What I do mind is that you don't call me to tell me that or return my voicemail/e-mail when I request (sometimes multiple times) a response either way. It is simple RSVP etiquette. I would rather know one way or the other so that I can focus my energies on other people. That is what it all comes down too. I'm likely to be more irritated with you because it took me a week to get answer out of you then it will be if you say NO.

OK, you got it? Now start doing it!

Thank you and enjoy the dinner.

Weekend in Review

Yet another fun weekend.

The birthday party Friday night was a blast. My friend Jay was there. I've always thought that he was family and when A* met he got closer to confirming it but still to no avail. There were four of us that got happy drunk and proceed to flirt with each other, Jay being among the four. We got him to lift his shirt and show of his pecs, and apparently his nipples. Wow! Pillow pecs and nipples that don't stop. I was impressed. Now I would love to prove he is family just to claim him as one of ours. Jay has said he would go to any bar with us but every time we make plans he manages to bail on us at the last minute. I remain hopefully A* is less optimistic.

Saturday we headed back out to GR for my nephews birthday. The party was at my sister-in-law's parent's house, which can be rather intimidating as her family is Dutch Reform which isn't exactly the most liberal. Nevertheless A* and I went. Afterwards we headed to downtown GR and tore up the town. It was a nice change of pace and a good bonding experience as well. Lets hope there are more like that.

Innocence Lost

So last night was sort of like when you first realize that perhaps Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny aren't real. We were at Pronto! but I wasn't drinking. Those people could not be more boring. Conversation ranged from the inane to the unintelligible. Aside from being far too crowded to enjoy to begin with there were very few of the usual crowd, which only added to my utter lack of fun. I suppose I am being a bit harsh. I was extremely tired and I did have some good conversation with some of my fellow teetotalers. Adding to the adventure a friend of ours had a bit too much to drink - I guess he felt he had to make up for me - and I got to drive his car home. I want one!

Had a little bit of clean up in the morning. I suspect he was trying to make up for so drama in his love life right now. I still haven't figure out what the deal was. It's all good though. Tonight is a friends 48th birthday. It should be quite fun and A* has reluctantly agreed to come along. He is of the opinion that this will be too political and boring. Most of these folks once they get a drink or too in them are pretty entertaining. Besides he'll never get to know them if he doesn't hang out with them.

Drinks Anyone

How ironic! I write yesterday about how I would someday like to be a parent and today I receive news that friends of ours are in the process to adopt a child. I don't normally ask anyone to read my blog, primarily because it gives me the opportunity to be as free in my writing as possible, however this time I couldn't help it and asked A* to read my own timely thoughts.

Last night way a doosey! We went to the Double O for drinkies after work. That ended up in drinks at my place where I proceed to get over the top. Luckily today I am feeling surprising well and will probably forego the drink tonight. I know I vented a little bit to one of my best friends but it has been an on-going thing that really should be resolved otherwise it will destroy our friendship in the long run.

Baby?!?

So yet another of my cousins now has a baby. She is a cutie. Not that I doubt that they know how very luck they are but I hope they realize what a great gift they have been given and cherish every day the child that has come into their life. Not everyone is so lucky. Many couples, and individuals, gay or straight would give quite a bit to be so blessed. Not that I am ready for it, but I am getting there. A* and I have talked about our visions of the future and a child is almost certainly something we both would like. Not that "we" are anywhere near ready for that responsibility. I guess that is what makes gay parents such good parents. While the child will most likely face some hardship because he or she has two daddies but at least we would have planned ahead and only adopted after we knew we were ready for our child. Unlike many str8 relationships where the kid can come along rather unexpectedly or worse unwanted. Moreover many of use having come from our own childhood were we knew certain things were not quite right and some having suffered from that are more attuned to that ourselve and therefore more likely to pick up on some subtle issues that may effect our own child.

Someday, I hope I can be as lucky as them.

OK I don't know which gremlin stole my Blog from Monday but I want it back. On second thought you can keep it. It was boring anyway.

Election Time is here! Not that it has escaped me that it was coming but now I am really in the thick of it. I just applied for on Tax Payer ID and for on-line training of the new electronic filing system for campaign finance. That should really help me with the processing of paperwork. Wa who! I'm not sure why but I have again volunteered (after being asked so is it really volunteering?!?) to be the treasurer for not one but two different campaigns. One is for Oakland Community College Board of Trustees and the second is for State of Michigan House of Representatives. Luckily the first will be over by June and should be significantly less complicated than the later (no primary and much less money).

I finished yet another home improvement project! This one replaced the old fixtures in my bath. I went with the retro look. There are some fantastic contemporary designs out there. That will have to wait for the full remodel. Next project is the BIGGIE - the upstairs - (dunt, dunt dunnnn...). I have been putting it off for far too long. I actually have the entire thing visualized now and am quite excited to finish it. Maybe that will lead to other nice changes in my life. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. We'll see.

Productive weekend I'd say.

Friday: A* and I had dinner with my sis and her girl friend. Followed up with drinks at my place where Corhan Seuss and his friend J joined us. J is one of those young boys who has apparently been there done that and knows it all in the process. Sadly though he looks like it too. We had a laugh when most of the group agreed that A* looked much young than he is and J... well let's just say that when I guessed how old he was I, one already knew and two guessed lower than I would have had I not known. We proceeded out to the MB for the Friday night booty contest. Corhan won (It helps when your friends are there!). A* ran into a guy that he had "known" in the past and proceeded to pull out this guy's "beer can". WOW! It was like the petting zoo. Everyone just had to touch it. Never a dull moment.

Saturday: Went to the Royal Oak Dems meeting for the first time in a while. It was good many of the people there. Not quite so much drama as in past meetings but still many run on speeches. After that A* and I headed out to Grand Rapids to visit my nephew. We got a late start and Toys R Us had a long line but it was good times. He is turning three this week so we had to get him something. A* picked out the play-dough and by the end of the evening we were all playing with it. The inner child shines through.

Sunday: was a nice lazy sleep in morning followed by several home improvement projects that I have been putting off. A* is always pretty good about keeping me on task so it was easier with him there. We did get snarled up with a plumbing job that is turning out to be more complicated than originally though - go figure. My father is going to stop by tonight with some extra tools so that we might finish the job. Here's hoping.

Insomnia

Yeah I can't sleep. Funny cause I haven't slept well lately and I am not tired right now. Today at work however...

Anyway tooling around on the web found this. It makes sense to me. What are you?


You are what some may call neutral. You have a good
foot in both light and darkness. You may not
save the world but you certainly aren't ever
going to add to its miseries. You see
everything in the world with your eyes along
with most of the world.


a... DO YOU PERSONIFY DARKNESS OR LIGHT?
brought to you by Quizilla

More than a month has gone by. My how time flies. It is not as though I haven't had anything to write about but I have had little urge to. That needs to change. For too long now I have drifted. My life has little meaning and yet I am very happy. Weird, huh? It is true.

Today is Mardi Gras. The last day of debauchery before the Lenten season. Guess I should take note of that. It is time to straighten up and fly right. I need to get back into the habit of going to the gym, eating healthy and doing all those other things that I some how have managed to stop doing. Blogging among them.

Things are about to change for the better. 'til later.

Wow so again I’m not so good at the keeping things updated. That will change though. I’ve been far too lackadaisical about too many things of late. I’ve been coasting through life letting a lot of things slide. Well did I ever get a wake up call yesterday. I need to reign it in and bring things back under control. Don’t ask me how I’m going to do that while in México next week, I’ll figure it out. I want to post more too. Even I get a kick out of reading some of them – how things change! Actually there are a few things that are written but not yet published. (It’s the perfectionist in me)

So I am going to Toluca next week. I don’t necessarily want to but hey it’s my job right?!? At least I can rack up some more air-miles and have most of my expenses paid for which really shouldn’t be that much but it does add up.

Going to the Auto Show tonight. I can’t wait to see my car. After working on it for the last two years it is going to be a real treat to see it in public. A* and I will be heading down there. He likes cars almost as much as I do. Perhaps more. I know he loves the convertible, if anything should ever happen to me I know where that car would go.

Ran into Buzz and Joe last night at Pronto!. Which as usual is anything but. Buzz was making eyes with a cute little Czech boy. He was more interested in his ability to get him a green card. (Go figure) Joe wanted to meet a boy at the bar but was too afraid to talk to him. I walked up and did my best for God and country and failed miserably at it. I chalk it up to Joe just wasn’t his type. So at least I went home happy. Sucks to be them, and not in a good way. K-hole was out too. Drinking his peach martini’s and stalking his next victim, I’m sure. I don’t doubt he fared well. He is continually has these little random events, which if it works for him great but seriously isn’t that just too much work? I suppose if you treat it more like a hobby and get off on the hunt why shouldn’t he like it? To each his own…

Happy New Year!

Time to blow through all those resolutions you've made. Actually I didn't make any this year. There is a method to my madness though and I hope that it works. First of all New Year's was spent in Toronto again this year. This is a place were no resolution stands much chance - at least those of the self-improvement/be a better person kind, but that is another story. While I have not committed myself to any one resolution I do intend to work on those things that I want made better. Be it a bad habit or character flaw I want to try everyday to do better than the last to be the person I think I should be. No easy task to be sure but, then if it was easy we would all do it. So for now I will take it in steps, some have already begun others in time this will be a good year.

Gaps

OK I've been in Mexico for the better part of the last month. Miami and the White Party in between. Either the next year will result in a better blog or I'll give it up. Life is usually so busy that time doesn't always allow for less productive time on the net. I haven't even had time to check my e-mail much lately.

I'm in love though so it's all good.

Happy Holiday's

And the "Light"?!?

OK so I've read over the last post now and realized I need more detail.

The elections are over. Yea! We lost. Oh well. The thing about that is in no time there will be another election the Dems are already stumping hard and the primary is only a few short months away. I need to finalize Gary’s post-campaign statements this week. Numbers aren’t balancing and I might have to spend a significant amount of time with the bank to figure things out. I spoke with him yesterday about this and he implied that he intended to run again in two years. Whether I’m there too remains to be seen. It isn’t as though I would not support him it’s the over commitment thing. We’ll see.

I’ve spent a great deal of time with A*. I know I’ve already fallen for him. I need to be patient and pace myself though. I do not want to smother him, which I know I could easily do, he’s just so, well he is, trust me. He has a large group of friends and I know that he has not seen some of them of late because he has spent more time with me. That is natural, I think. At the same time it is an adjustment and I just need to acknowledge that. I need “me” time just as much so it works. All things being equal on a grander scheme of things point of view long term is where it’s at.

It needs to be an early one for me – off to Windsor tomorrow morning.

The Darkness

My, my, my it has been a while hasn’t it…

Unfortunately some of the most interesting things happen to me when I’m away, or at least in the real world. I’ve not had the time nor the inclination to sit in front of my computer much lately. A* says that I’ve spread myself thin. To a degree he is right. However I think of times when I haven’t had much of anything going on and I just haven’t always been much into sitting in front of a computer for hours. I do that every day at work. The last thing I need is to do the same thing at home. I need to be busy that is for certain. A lot of those reasons have much to do with who I am and why I get myself over committed but still. I want to be here more, partially for my own reasons, less so to make some sort of contribution to the “internet community” if there is such a thing.

So like I’ve said some of the most interesting things happen to me. The people I’ve met, the things I’ve done, or not done. I resolve to be here more.

That said winter is coming and the darkness approaches. I’ve seen glimmers of it particularly over this last weekend. How I loath the cold. I’m being proactive this year and already have a trip to Mexico and Miami in the works. Not to say that either one of those trips will fortify me for the months to come but it might, and I chose to believe that it will. I know what I need to do to be on this side of that. I only need to keep to task and I can do it.

OK so it may have been a ramble today and I may be one of the few that understands but it is what it is and it’s more than it has been in almost a month.

Until next time.

Know that you're loved,

D

Hard to believe it has been a week. Well time does fly when having fun. I suppose a recap is in order.

Thursday: A* spent the night again. I really do enjoy his company. We met up with friends at the Double O and then went out for dinner just the two of us. I had tentatively made plans with Rich that night but he didn't get back to me until it was much too late.

Friday: I drove down to Dearborn to take him back to his car. Not a bad little drive really and I am not going direct into the office anyway so no worries.

Later that evening we headed down to Columbus. Fun little city. The area we hung out at seemed very gay friendly. Axis was an interesting club. It had a good mix of boys most of the twink variety. Some were rolling most were not is my guess. The music was OK. I got a copy of the DJs CD.

Drama ensued as the night wore on. Things have started to become more clear and yet more confusing at the same time. Yep definitely drama.

Saturday: Return to the doll-drums. A* had dinner with an old college friend. I got to play host at the MB. The long awaited bar-outreach night that started in concept last June. It went much better than I would have guessed - at least from the point of view of my being able to sell and talk to people. Not my favorite thing to do. I was quite impressed with myself. Gave A* a call between sets and convinced him to spend the night. Got to get out of that place ASAP. Yea me.

Sunday: Was a wedding reception brunch for Mike & Pegg (note two gg and no Peggy). I had previously said I would go and so I brought A* along. I hadn't thought much of it. We were horribly underdressed although noone mentioned it. I wasn't so concerned but still even I would have like to do it up a notch. While he can fit my shirts and shoes, pant length is another story all together. I wasn't going to have him be underdressed by himself.

We crashed at my place for a bit after the reception. That's when it hit. FINALLY! A couple of people had apparently inquired as to our status at the brunch. A* finally said "Can we date?" Which is to say can we be boyfriends. We sort of were dating. It was weird and complicated but I understood it so it worked. That said I would like nothing more than to be with him and said as much.

That evening was the Hope Fund Event. Our first event as a couple. It showed. We had a blast and I was on cloud nine. The Westin is so fabulous. We are hosting our annual dinner there in March so I'm ecstatic about that. That I could be more open in my affection was even better. I was happy that night.

A* crashed again at my place. On the way home we had the top down, it was probably one of the last nights we could do that. We sang to the songs on the Moulin Rouge CD. We sang our hearts out, and we loved it. We were happy that night.
Tuesday was Slappy D's birthday at the MB. He is a nice guy although I haven't forgotten that he once said I was probably the queeniest person he had ever met. I'll show him queenie. Oops nothing like proving a point, huh?!?

Work it a blur right now, too much. But that is OK. Speaking of which I better get rolling. I need to be up in the AM. 'til next time.

Know that you're loved,

D

Recipe for Disaster

OK fun with colors... I've wanted to change the color of this blog to a more purple hue for some time. Given my limitations of time and software (I'm not buying new software for this computer and I'd like to wait just a touch longer before I buy a new PC.) not everything is finished. I've already changed back and forth a few times. I am changing this in steps, so bare with me.

Speaking of color.

Work was crazy today. A week ago when asked if one of my tools would be running this week I gave a rather terse "NO". As if to imply whatever you think you know you don't so please stop wasting my time. Turns out my darling account manager scheduled a run for me and then neglected to inform me. Which is all well and good except that we don't have enough plastic right now to run the tool, not to mention making me look like a clown. Yeah, problem! I spent most of Monday and yesterday trying to find out where my material and colorant was. I had requested a batch some time back but told them I wouldn't need it until mid-month at the earliest so no rush. Oops!

The sales guy at Dow expedite overnight ships the material at a considerable cost only to find out that I do not yet have colorant so we won't be running after all. I could scream. I've been working on a rollout of a new piece of software to our product engineering team so the last thing I had time for today was placing the roll of shipping and logistics. The good news is I have to be in the office at 7:00AM tomorrow morning so that I can pick up were I left off tonight.

Have I mentioned I love my job?!?

The Bloggosphere Enlightened

Just read a very enlightened blog. I am always grateful when I can read what I struggle to say. I have even had a hard time explaining to some in our own community why it is important to make a contribution. or explaining why diversity, not just blending of gay and straight, but real diversity, is so important. I wish that more would do something. Perhaps then the few of us that do, the usual suspects as I think of them, would not get so burned out.

I remember my friend Howard once asked me why I thought it was that so few do as much as we do for a community that would otherwise seem indifferent to our efforts. Guilt was my first thought, but I know it must be something larger. If I ever figure that out, look out.

"In order to increase the abiding satisfaction for the mass of our people and all people, someone must sacrifice something of his own happiness. It is silly to tell intelligent human beings “be good and you will be happy.” The truth is today - be good, be decent, be honorable and self-sacrificing and you will not always be happy. You will often be desperately unhappy. You may even be crucified, dead and buried and the third day you will be just as dead as the first. But with the death of your happiness may easily come increased happiness and satisfaction and fulfillment for other people, strangers, unborn babes, uncreated worlds. If this is not sufficient incentive never try it, remain hogs…”

Commencement address to Howard University, 1930 - W. E. B. Du Bois (first African American to earn a PhD from Harvard)

Zap

We lost power again today. This time I had the benefit of being on the ground when it happened. Luckily it was isolated to the immediate area around where I work. A transformer caught fire just down the street from my office building. Most everyone else went home at lunch time today, I had a meeting with the “customer” who had power so I went off to their place. I did have a second meeting that was canceled so it turned out to be an early day for me as well. Yea, me!

If we don’t have power tomorrow the offices will be closed again. Not that it is likely but even so I’m not so lucky. I have a meeting at our Southfield office so unless they can move the black-out…

When I got home I mowed the lawn and started prepping it for winter. I have to say that it looks good right now. I still don’t understand why my lawn doesn’t look half as good as my neighbors but then I’m hardly ever here so, oh well.

This weekend is starting to look like another action packed one.

Friday - we are heading to Columbus. Mr. Withipey, A, and myself decided that we needed a short little getaway. This will be a kind of test run for South Beach and the White Party. I sometimes have issues of a sort so this will be a good chance to find my comfort zone.

Saturday – Affirmations Bar Outreach Night at the MB. I’m a little less than thrilled about this. Originally, I was supposed to be there to merely represent the Board with support from the staff and volunteering doing the talking about the center shtick. I have no problem helping out, collecting the cover/donations at the door and even answering questions. I cannot and rather have no desire to be a one-man show.

Sunday – Wedding reception brunch and the Hope Fund 2003 Campaign Kick-Off Event. The fundraiser will be at the Detroit Metropolitan Airport Westin. Affirmations is hosting their gala fundraiser diner there next March. This will be my first chance to see the place in action.

All in all it ought to be another interesting weekend.

What an interesting weekend. Tee Hee Hee.

Well enough of that...

Aye dios mio!

Well that was nice. Nothing like a fun little romp to get your spirits up, or at the very least to relieve some tension. It is interesting how when sometimes at the very moment that I need something a solution presents itself to me. I suppose I should have better faith, or at the very least patience to know that the answer is out there. Give it time right? In the mean time there is absolutely no reason why I shouldn’t be having fun myself. It is interesting to think that I knew how the night was going to go. I suspect that if I had thought otherwise I would have bailed. I had other options and wasn’t going to waste my time any other way. I do not think I will ever be a full Top but the trend sure is going that way. Intriguing. I guess we’ll just have to see where this takes us.

I continue to grow in my knowledge and understanding of some of my friends. Little by little I learn this or that and in the process see new facets of that individual that I had otherwise only hoped for, or suspected. Again another journey whose next revelation I eagerly await. I am truly lucky to be surrounded by such great people.