non sequitur

So it comes to this. I’m not surprised actually, perhaps a little disappointed but never the less I’m not surprised. The truth is I should have known long ago. Of course it has taken quite some time for sufficient information to fill in enough of the gaps to see what it was that I was looking at. Looking at not looking for, let’s be clear about that. Obviously the mind has a way of letting us see what we want to even when nothing closely resembling that is actually before our eyes. The mind and the heart.

Fortunately, or not perhaps, time has a way of wearing all things down, and without proper maintenance, proper TLC if you will, even the most elaborate façade will begin to erode, exposing any flaws or inherent weaknesses in the structure. That of course doesn’t mean without a veneer there is less value or less desire, save only that what flaws there are, are now known. It is then to the viewer to make that call for themselves what is beauty and worthy of possession. What may be unwanted by one may be invaluable to another.

Perspective too should be considered. Viewed at one angle rather than another, what is seen could easily be unrecognizable from the next or so unique as to be surprising that it was not previously observed. It is then duty of the observer not the observed to fully explore orientation and position before fully casting judgment. Could one place cast shadow over a flaw that when brought to the light of day, rend it undesirable? Can that flaw be overlooked? Is there a way to repair it or does the flaw add or embellish character?

We admire roses for their sweet fragrant flowers, soft velvet petals, and rich vibrant colors despite their thorns that can prick us, draw blood and inflict pain. It is therefore the requirement of the gardener to learn how to handle the rose, to protect themselves, to respect the rose from a distance or to risk injury for rewards sake.

A dilapidated building with a structure intact can prove a valuable reward to those who through their effort rebuild to its former grandeur. Unforeseen problems however can slowly wear at those who would otherwise seek to repair that which is already itself worn down. Thus requiring a second choice: continue the work at hand and adjust to accommodate the new problems, the hope begin that the total of the repairs will be completed and the finished structure will provide haven for the weary, or focus efforts inward replenishing the worn, salving wounds prepared to begin work anew when better days come. The risk involved and the dilemma presented is a judgment of how much work the new problems present as opposed to the available resources to complete the task at hand, this met with a third judgment as to how many more ‘unforeseen’ problems still exist, once naively unexpected and now cautiously anticipated, the result of which would further diminish an already compromised pool of resources, prolong the completion and exacerbate the exhaustion of the weary. As this cycle progresses an additional judgment enters into the process to either abandon the project at hand, accepting defeat for having too long neglected the original façade allowing too many exposed flaws and having entered into the endeavor with insufficient ability or resources to ever acceptably complete the repairs or to persevere and continue, despite insurmountable odds, knowing full well that the path chosen may well be your end.

Then ask yourself am I the one repairing or the one being repaired?

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty

Trauma

Some wounds run so deep that the healing of them hurt almost as much as the original injury; and some wounds run so deep...


they never heal.

Memories

"Perhaps everybody has a garden of Eden, I don't know; but they have scarcely seen their garden before they see the flaming sword. Then, perhaps, life only offers the choice of remembering the garden or forgetting it. Either, or: it takes strength to remember, it takes another kind of strength to forget, it takes a hero to do both. People who remember court madness through pain, the pain of the perpetually recurring death of their innocence; people who forget court another kind of madness, the madness of the denial of pain and the hatred of innocence; and the world is mostly divided between madmen who remember and madmen who forget. Heroes are rare." Giovanni's Room - James Baldwin

The Grads

Love Conquers

I attended the alternate graduation in Howell yesterday. It was almost surreal. Never in my childhood would I have imagined that place to have been as welcoming and positive. Obviously there remains a great deal of the past in it’s current form but the currents of change run swift and strong and even the hardest rock will not win in the end. I was brought to tears a few times as eloquent speeches and honors were bestowed upon the three graduates who chose to stand up to hate.

I am amazed at the coverage that it has received. Obviously the local and regional press were in attendance but the coverage expanded past this to include many larger national papers and even an interview of one of the group on BBC.

Kate and I have discussed writing an article for BTL as well. It would be apropos for to alumni from there who are now out and active members of the LGBT community to do so, we thought.

All in all it think it is a good sign and an indication that though things are not always going our way the direction of change is ultimately in our favor. The future seems better every day.

Radio 1 to Radio 2

G'd Morning Ya'll

I'm taking a quick break from Post-Election Campaign Finance Statements to drop a quick update.

Last Weekend's Motor City Pride was quite successful although the heat was a bit of a challenge. Actually as memory serves last year we had treats of rain and oppressive heat then too. All in all it was a good time. I could have done without a certain co-chair but then I don't think I was the only one. Like most other volunteered activities I'll need some time before I commit to next year.

Yeah I know it isn't much but the statements are overdue and the fines are steep so back to work!

Angels & Demons

A really interesting book that in some ways seems to balance the Da Vinci Code in its support of conspiracy theory's and the historical Catholic Church. It seems to be very pro-religious in it's arguments and not overly condemning of the 'supposed' actions of the Church.

What I find to be incredibly interesting is the fact/fiction mixing that occurs in both this book and The Da Vinci Code. Keeping in mind that both books are identified as fiction it is surprising the number of books published to attach and dissect the flaws contained within. It's fiction it is allowed to be divergent from fact, in fact it is required to be so. This strikes me as "Me thinks the gentlemen doth protest too much." Which of course only make it more believable not less, but oops it's fiction...

June 11th Support Howell High School Seniors Who Opposed Hate

This was forwarded to me so I thought I would send it on the best way I know how.

From: Joe Summers

Subject: Urgent: June 11th Support Howell High School Seniors Who Opposed Hate

(Please forward to any you think might be interested in supporting this.)

Recently three seniors from Howell High School, Derrick Weber, Shayna Kamilar and Vinnie Mascola, were suspended for the rest of the year -- including participation in any senior activities: graduation, awards ceremonies, concerts etc.-- for protesting anti-gay graffiti. I hope we can do all we can to show our appreciation for them and to protest their suspensions.

My understanding of the story is as follows. There is a large rock in front of Howell High School on which students paint messages. A friend of theirs, who is openly gay, was the star of the school play "Pippin." Over a painting advertising the play someone spray painted "God hates fags." Seeing this Derrick, Shayna, Vinnie, and another student in turn spray painted the word "love" over this message. In an action similar to what students did two years ago, when a Howell senior committed suicide, they then went on to spray paint the world "love" on the sidewalks and driveway. The school administration suspended them for ten days while they reviewed their actions. Two to three hundred students protested this action in a peaceful sit-in. Shortly afterwards the administration suspended Derrick, Shayna, and Vinnie for the remainder of the year.

In their defense the students point out that no one at the time, or later, ever said the graffiti action of two years ago had been wrong. They also point to numerous instances where the administration has overlooked hateful speech and conduct that they have brought to their attention in the past. These also violated the student code, yet nothing was done about them.

The administration claims "there are two sides to every story." The only other side to the story that emerged during the students' hearings was that the administration recognized that they were model students (one of them was recently honored as the senior of the year) who were trying to uphold the value of respect for the dignity of all that the student code is meant to protect. . But, the administration insists, "rules are rules" and the students must bear the consequences of breaking them.

It would be reasonable to expect the students should be responsible to pay for any costs connected with cleaning up the graffiti. But in addition to this, the administration instead chose to apply the harsh penalties developed to respond to the very disruptive actions of graduating seniors who in the past thought they could get away with anything. That bears no resemblance to this situation. Though many many parents and students have spoken to both the school board and the superintendent to suggest that the unusual circumstances warrant some kind of intervention--their appeals have fallen on deaf ears. Thus Derrick, Shayna, and Vinnie are being deprived of their ability to experience the culmination of all their years of hard work participation in choir/musical concerts, award ceremonies, graduation etc.) because they tried to stand up for their friend and boldly and imaginatively to confront hate in their culture. The injustice of this has tainted the whole feel of graduation for their friends and families who have supported them through these many years.

There will be an alternative graduation celebration for Derrick, Shayna, and Vinnie on Saturday June 11th. Those who want to support them and celebrate their achievements are invited to attend. The hope is that this celebration can in some measure make up for what has been taken from them. The students and their families have requested that this be an occasion of celebration and affirmation of the kind that the students would have enjoyed had they been allowed to participate in graduation.

After weeks of trying to get their youth back in school, the families are somewhat overwhelmed trying to plan this celebration so I agreed to do what I could to help facilitate it. If you know speakers or musicians that you think would contribute to the program please let me know and I will check with the students and their families to see whether they think it would fit in with the program. If you have resolutions of support, or letters, for Derrick, Shayna, and Vinnie they can be sent to Derrick's mom, Colleen Chrzanowsiki, 2290 Hickory Circle Dr., Howell MI 48855. Similarly, if you would like to contribute funds to go either towards the costs of the celebration, or towards the legal expenses the families are incurring- checks can be made out to Colleen. Lastly, if there are any who wish to donate towards some kind of scholarships for these three, all of whom will be attending college in the fall, please let me know. As this celebration will be a week from today it would be helpful to hear from you as soon as possible.

Below you will see the public announcement the families recently sent out.

Joe Summers

Vicar, The Episcopal Church of the Incarnation

Alternative Graduation Celebration for Suspended Students: The parents of Howell High School seniors Derrick Weber, Shayna Kamilar and Vinnie Mascola are proud to be holding a Graduation Ceremony to celebrate the achievements of their sons and daughter. The ceremony will be held on Saturday June 11th at 6:00 pm at Page Athletic Field in Howell City Park, 415 N. Barnard Street.

We are grateful for the support expressed by members of the community here in Livingston County as well as others in greater southeast MI. We welcome those who wish to join in our celebration. We have scheduled our ceremony specifically to avoid any conflict with the commencement activity at Howell High School so that those wishing to join us may do so without having to choose between the two. We strongly encourage Howell High Seniors to walk with their class as OUR students wish they could.

We also request that guests who join us please understand our desire to celebrate our students Graduations with our friends and family without protests or emonstrations. We recognize some of the divided opinions in the community about the issues that lead us to hold this event; however we respectfully ask that those strong opinions be set aside for this occasion so that our students and their families may build the same memories that accompany this once-in-a-lifetime milestone for every graduate.

I hope to see you there.

D

The Mirror Project

I just received confirmation of my second posting on The Mirror Project. This one was a complete accident. It probably could have been multiple submissions the way it came out.

Take a look at my first submission from back in March.

Incommunicado

Yes, yes, yes; I know I haven’t written much lately. I haven’t felt the drive to do so. Some days I am just to busy and other days I just don’t care to. It has felt as though there wasn’t much to share but in retrospect there is actually quite a bit. Here are some of the highlights in no particular order.

Balthazar and son of Archibald are gone.
A cute twenty something guy helped move my gas meter, the other guys called him “two beers”
I sold the Sebring
My sister is moving to San Francisco, she wanted me to adopt one of her cats that she fears won’t make the trip, I had to say no on account of A*
I am on the board for another three year term
My sister-in-law filed for divorce from the twin
The floor upstairs is complete
My latest camera is kaput

Reflections of current events, the weather and the Memorial Holiday aside life is moving along. I will probably be traveling toward the end of this month or the beginning of next. I hope to let you know more, later.

I don’t want to stop writing, so bare with me.

Until next time, as always – Know that you’re loved,

D

Show your support to Ford

As some of you know the American Family Association has organized a boycott of Ford Motor Company. This boycott is in response to Ford's support of their LGBT employees, consumers, and community. Ford's support of Affirmations' Open the Doors Capital and Endowment Campaign is specifically called out in the boycott website and the news coverage today.

Please take a moment to read today's article in the Detroit Free Press , and to review the AFA website.

Affirmations is requesting that each of you send along an e-mail to the Ford Motor Company Fund - their contact information is located at the following website: http://www.ford.com/en/support/contactUs.htm Please share with them how much you appreciate their support of the LGBT community and their LGBT employees. Specifically thanking them for their support of Affirmations' Open the Doors Capital and Endowment Campaign would be beneficial as well, since their contribution is specifically listed as one of the reasons for the boycott.

Also, if you would like your responses to also go to the press so they have the LGBT's perspective on things please copy your message to:

letters@freepress.com

letters@detnews.com

Thanks so much for your time and consideration!

Michael J. Mirto
Development Director

Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center
195 West Nine Mile Road, Ferndale, MI 48220
PH:248.398.7105 x 17 FAX:248.541.1943

www.GoAffirmations.org
Everyday People. Building Community

Do you want to buy a car?!?

I’ve thrown in the towel. Due to my current financial situation I can no longer afford the luxury of my second car.

It is a 2002 Chrysler Sebring Convertible Limited; Deep Sapphire Blue Pearlcoat/Dark Blue Cloth Top w/ Royal Blue/Cream Interior. The car is in excellent condition only one little scratch on the right corner of the rear fascia. Only 16,500 miles and it was wintered in the garage. I’ll throw in the custom fit Kimberly-Clark NOAH car cover (seeing as how I won’t have any use for it.) The price is fairly firm at $15,500 although you will note the ad does read OBO. While I do need to rid myself of the car I’m in no hurry to do so and car afford to wait out another month or two if need be.

Anyway, check it out and if you’re interested please feel free to contact me.

Until next time… know that you’re loved,

D

Affirmations Program Director Passes The Torch

Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center
195 West Nine Mile, Ferndale, MI 48220
Phone: 248.398.7105 Fax: 248.541.1943
Email: info@GoAffirmations.org Web: www.GoAffirmations.org



Date: May 16, 2005

Contact: Kathleen LaTosch
Special Events / Marketing Director
248-398-7105 ext. 15

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

AFFIRMATIONS PROGRAM DIRECTOR PASSES THE TORCH
FERNDALE, Mich. – After close to five years of service to Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community, Program Director Michael Larson recently announced that it’s time to pass the torch to another energetic person and move on. Having accomplished what he set out to do at Affirmations, he says “I feel like I did accomplish those things and now it’s time to pass the torch.”

Initially hired in October of 2000 to run the Youth Services Program, he quickly moved into the role of Program Director where he was responsible for supervising a staff of three, organizing activities and programs for the 200 people who came to the Center each week, and getting the art gallery back on its feet. Five years later, the staff of three has grown to ten and the 200 people coming to the Center each week has grown to over 600. Moreover, he now heads a flourishing art gallery that has seen more than 30 artists exhibit their work, and has been featured on Detroit’s National Public Radio, WDET.

Under his direction the Center has added four new programs areas – health services, older adult services, family activities and community outreach – more than tripling participation at Affirmations. The youth program has expanded service hours from four a week in 2000 to 20 hours a week in 2005. YEP nights have grown so successfully, that attendance is often at its maximum capacity.

What will he miss the most? In his signature quiet and thoughtful way, he said, “If I had to name three things, I’d have to say that I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the youth program. The youth are so dynamic and inspiring; it’s been rewarding to be able to work so closely with that program. Coming OUT Over Coffee and the Pittmann-Puckett Art Gallery would definitely be on my list too.” But Larson doesn’t expect to miss Affirmations too much – he will continue serving on two of the organization’s planning committees to help move into the new building.

“But I will certainly miss him,” said Leslie Thompson, Executive Director of Affirmations. “Michael came to Affirmations during a very turbulent time and together we smoothed out the edges and got the organization back on track. His wisdom and insight will be greatly missed.”

Larson plans to stay on at Affirmations while the organization conducts a national search for a new program director and then assist in the training of that person. “One of my hopes is that the community recognizes the importance of the Center and embraces the person who comes after me,” said Larson. When asked what his plans are after leaving Affirmations, with a relaxed smile, he said, “I have several things in the works, but I might also just take a break and spend some time pulling weeds in my garden.”

Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center, based in the Detroit suburb of Ferndale, has been in operation since 1989 and provides a variety of programs, services and social opportunities for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals residing in Southeastern Michigan. Affirmations’ mission is to provide a welcoming place to every day people where they can have fun, learn, socialize, grow, be supported and find acceptance.

###

Prayers

I need to remind myself that I don’t have it so bad and that despite every thing that I have going on in my life right now if certainly could be worse.  While I want things to be better for me I am grateful for what I do have.

 

For Jacob – Who is going to not one but two different sentencing hearings today, may he make it through the day regardless of the outcome. 

 

For Steve – Who lost his wife of 18 years to cancer and may soon loss custody of his daughter, may he find the forgiveness needed to keep his family.

 

For Thomas – Who had his car stolen, may his travels be made easier.

 

For Scott – Who lost his job, may he soon find work for idle hands.

 

 

ho humm

No not that kind of Ho!

Things have been busy of late. I cannot seem to post from e-mail, at least without major error and garbage showing up (Last Friday's post was like that for a while.)

There hasn't been much to update as I have been laying low and otherwise to preoccupied to make any observations that would require my own personal editorial.

The renovations to the Master Bedroom are well on their way and the new job is progressing nicely.

Next Wednesday, 11 May 2005: Last Comic Standing

Looking for something to do next Wednesday night? Join us at Mark Ridley’s in Royal Oak to root on our favorite comic in the “Last Comic Standing” Contest.

DATE: Wednesday, May 11, 2005
WHERE: Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle - on the corner of Troy St. & 4th in downtown Royal Oak. (One block south of 11 mile and one block east of Main St.)
WHEN: 8:00 PM - She could be first so don't be late! And the earlier you are the better chance you have of getting excellent seats.
COST: $2.00 - if you can't afford this try gathering up 20 empty bottles/cans...
WHY: Because she is very competitive and will cry if she doesn’t go on to the next round.

It will be a fun time for sure.

Melon Collie

So I don't really have much to say, and more importantly I don't really feel like saying anything; yet I feel compelled to write. I need to finish my update about Toronto and yet that is fast becoming irrelevant or at least unimportant. I have spent the last few nights working on the renovation and actually painting, though I feel I may have to go back a few steps and touch up a few dry-wall sections. The is the boy in AA who I think is really cute but I know is painfully str8 and am actually becoming friendly with (I almost put friends but we remain acquaintances and probably will so). The school board elections are finished and we won. That is the last few days in a nutshell without all the detail.

Until later.

Know that you're loved,

D

National Teacher Day

No kidding.  The day their boss’, boss’ bosses are elected into office we recognize the teacher.  Ironic, maybe… 

 

Either way, don’t forget to VOTE today.

 

If you live in Michigan you can visit www.michigan.gov/sos or www.publius.org to get information about how and where to vote in your community. 

 

In Royal Oak you might also want to check out www.royaloakreport.com to get some more information pertaining to today’s election.

 

OK Hose Head

Were to begin… 

 

Even before I left it was an adventure.  This trip was originally scheduled for the previous week and was rescheduled at the last minute to Thursday of last week.  The actual plan was unknown to me until late Tuesday afternoon so it wasn’t until then that I knew we would be traveling up Wednesday evening staying Wednesday and Thursday nights.  Which is a BIG difference from where we started, I had half expected to either travel up or back in the same day to minimize travel costs.  My coworker and I were supposed to travel together, again to minimize costs, and when last we spoke he asked when I got off of work and indicated that we would leave then.  I had previously scheduled a meeting with my financial advisor well before the trip got changed, for the afternoon of Wednesday.  When I returned from my meeting, my coworker, having changed his mind, now wishing to leave around lunch time, and not being able to locate me, left without me.

            His leaving was in actually a small blessing in disguise.  It gave me the opportunity to deal directly with a rental agency without having either a coworker there or being stuck without options.  I made the rental reservation through corporate travel and headed off to the agency.  When I arrived, as I expected, I was asked for my driver’s license.  I explained the situation and was told that unfortunately they could not accept paper IDs, but that once I had the license back I would not have any problem.  This in and of itself was a bit of a relief.  Now I knew that the answer to one question without having to expose myself too much.  Secondly that I would only have little more than one month to go also took some burden off my shoulders.  Obviously at this point my only option was to drive my car which I was perfectly fine with, and actually would prefer.

 

The remainder of Wednesday night was uneventful.  Because of rush our traffic and accidents on I-696, I-94 and 401 I did not arrive in Markham until almost 10 PM. 

 

Thursday morning we set out for our first visit of the trip.  My coworker drove as he managed to obtain a Jaguar X-type as his rental car. (I only hope that he was only charged the normal rate.)  The plan for the day was to trial three different materials from three different suppliers, all at the same manufacturer.  Now it isn’t necessarily unusual to try-out a couple of different materials, just not on the same day.  We got to play a little bit of hot-potato when the second supplier arrived early all the while the first trial was behind schedule.  It was an interesting time.