Mr. Sandman

Once again I cannot sleep. It's nothing new that my mind is going a mile a minute when I should be sound asleep. The chatter that goes on inside my skull sometimes is amazing. It's nothing crazy or insane it's just chatter. Imagine a conversation with yourself set in a busy coffee shop or restaurant filled with many other conversations. The conversations are generally more like one way monologues rehashing my day planning the next.

Now throw in short attention span theater and you get a review of last week and planning for next month. Reminiscing about past loves wondering about loves to come. Ofcourse none of this would be complete without something to regret over. Some future to worry about. Too numerous plans made, far more than any one individual can complete. And this of course is just an over view.

Eventually the sleep does come and the dreams pick up where the waking mind left off. I can only hope to eventual tame the noise and clam my mind long before midnight hoping that tonight I can get a decent night's rest.

I miss having A* to cuddle up to the rhythm of his breathing and the beat of his heart gave me something to concentrate on. The love shared keeping me insulated for the moment.

I am far from that time now and the best I can do is try to be at peace with what I have. Sweet dreams to you all may you find comfort tonight.