The Return of the Queen

Gym Bunnies beware I have made my full return to that place of exercise.

A few observations:

1. During the day there are only retirees and middle aged women.
2. When you don't go to the gym for some time you cannot do the work out you did the last time you 'really' worked out.
3. Guys in gyms - I've seen dicks before. When you turn around to hide your goods you are just showing me you ass... Thank you!
4. Since when is the gym a day-care center?!?

So for now we'll try to take it easy. It felt good though.

You can, but WOULD you?!?

Postulate - There has been the debate that sex and love are completely separate things, and that both can be had without the other. I would concede that the above statement is partially true but fails to address the reality of this world which is if they are mutually exclusive can they not also be mutually inclusive and what combination is most preferred? The answer depends on what it is that you are looking for in the first place and what you want long term. The reasoning behind the answer may also highlight the difference between gender and sexual orientation and the way each uniquely, or not, approach the question.

Sex without Love - It is most certainly possible to have sex without love. Sex comes in many forms, regardless of what your definition of 'is' is, and its most basic form requires no love at all, masturbation. Certainly you can love yourself as you please yourself but that certainly doesn't have to be the case. Nightly, more common on the weekend, loveless sex can be found in the form of the one-night-stand. While in the long term love may be formed between the individuals involved this would violate the premise of the one-night-stand. Gay men quite commonly find this the most convenient form of mutual sex with no strings attached, not the least of which would be love. Of course in the most ferocious form of sex, rape, rarely if ever has any connection with the mutual concern for well-being, and deep emotional bond associated with love. Probably more common between a heterosexual pair, this is likely due to the difference perceptions and values placed not only on sex but the other individual involved. Unfortunately there are those that would condemn all of the above forms of sex as they do not adhere to the biblical directive that creates a sin for all of the above actions.

Love without Sex - Certainly love without the physical intimacy that sex brings between two individuals is entirely possible. However it is important to qualify what love is and how it differentiates across a spectrum. It is possible to love a thing, a place, or an idea without ever even considering the impossible concept of sex with that item. Religious figures commit their love to God and therefore what they can never achieve in the physical is said to be made up for in the spiritual. Even the love of other individuals is more often than not never more than love. The love between parents and their off-spring, siblings and even close friends are taboo to cross the line with sexual physical contact more extreme than a kiss or an embrace. During traditional courting periods, again the emotional bond and unifying love between two individuals develops before physical intimacy, particularly in the most conservative adherences.

Sex with Love - The love between two adult individuals is unique. In the instance of clergy, blood family and platonic friendships, introducing sex with their love would be more destructive than unitive. Sex between two grown and emotionally mature people has the power to bring those two closer as a result of the shared experience. It is the fact that these two individuals love each other that drives them to want the other person to experience as much pleasure, if not more, as they do themselves. The compounding effect can make the sexual experience more intense, and thus more pleasurable for all involved.

And - Beyond the physical pleasure felt during sex lies the emotional or spiritual intimacy involved. Because those in love often want more for the one they love than their own well being, sex provides one of the few win-win-win situations. As acknowledged earlier, sex on its own is pleasurable, and thus is expected to be pleasurable for both individuals involved. That pleasure can be intensified, if the fact that one is pleasing the other, is by itself a pleasurable feeling. This intensification can compound upon itself developing a crescendo of pleasure, to a climax of the sexual experience.

Therfore - It would be easy to deduce then that while love and sex can exist as mutual exclusive states of being that when combined they create a powerful experience unparalleled in by either of the two alone. Many conditions and considerations need to be accounted for the ideal situation but even in the imperfect can be at the minimum no less enjoyable than in the absence of one or the other. Ability to provide the physical and desire to be selfless in caring for the other create a sensation that should leave one thinking, "well sure I could, but why would I?!?"

Monster Day

Spent most of today working on my resume, searching through Monster, reading about what I should do next. All in all it was productive but stressful. I have begun to realize that I grew far too complacent in my previous position and should have done something about it long ago. For the first time since Wednesday I got butterflies in my stomach and really started to think about what lay ahead for me. Hopefully this will be a short experience and I will be back to dread the daily grind in no time. With any luck I just may find something I like and will definitely do things different moving forward.

Networking my way across the Blogosphere

I sent this out to friends and family yesterday. Now it is your turn...
__________________________________________________________________


Thursday, January 20, 2005
Greetings All,

I hope this letter finds you all in great spirits, rested from the holiday season and still committed to your New Year’s Resolutions. I myself am only 50/50 on the resolutions but then tomorrow is another chance to fix that right (why wait ‘til next year?!?) I had begun writing this letter, earlier this week, with an entirely different purpose in mind but recent circumstances have forced a change of plans.

Regrettably after four years and 8 months (I had just received the invite to my 5 year anniversary event earlier this month) I am no longer an employee of Lear Corporation. Fallen victim to the latest round of cuts that have been going on for the last two plus years, I was part of yesterday’s layoffs, more directly than I care. It was an interesting experience, the last four years, and the layoff, one that I have definitely grown from and do not regret.

Obviously a new chapter must now be forged and it is with that in mind that I now write you. I need your help. I will, of course, be doing quite a bit of work to return to productive society myself, but should you know of any opportunities out there I would appreciate it if you would keep me in mind. I am currently in the process of updating my résumé and will gladly forward it upon request. By way of back-ground information I have a BS in Chemical Engineering from Michigan State University, and previously worked as a Product Engineer working on hard trim (plastic) automotive interiors and have a total of 8 years automotive, and 3 years chemical work experience. Certainly I would be interested in a similar type position but am entertaining other opportunities as well.

I am lucky to be surrounded by great friends and family that support me (some have already proposed solutions), as well a boyfriend whose love knows no bound. While there is rarely a good time for something like this to happen I am blessed to be where I am now. After getting all of my ducks in a row, résumé updated, on-line job hunt applications filled out and phone calls made you will be one of my best resources.

Thank you again.

Know that you're loved,

D

"Peace, it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." -Unknown

David T. Light
612 S. Dorchester Ave
Royal Oak, MI 48067-4048
Home: (248) 546-1267

Well, that shows what I know

Why "Hail to the Chief"? - How it became the presidential song. By Andy Bowers:
"Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,
Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.
Hail to the Chief, as we pledge co-operation
In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.
Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
This you will do, That's our strong, firm belief.
Hail to the one we selected as commander,
Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!"

I though it was "Hail to the Cheif! He's the one we all say hail to."

Actually I've never liked Pink

It has happened. This afternoon my director came over to my desk and asked if he could speak with me. Odd because he does not have an office in my building but not unreasonable because his employees do and our relationship is such that this would not be out of order. We step into one of the managers offices where he introduces me to our HR manager. Still I am thinking what is the problem that he needs my knowledge about. Or does this have something to do with the e-mail I sent out earlier in the day that stated I do not have the responsibility to do something requested of me (I thought that because I noticed he read the e-mail almost immediately when he usually doesn't in the same day.) Couldn't be that... As HR offers a chair (this isn't her office mind you) I notice a form letter on the table were we sit. A promotion?!? I'll admit I am overdue for a promotion but the timing is all wrong so nope. They've found out about other issues?!? Nah, that could be but isn't likely... So what then? As I sit and look to my director the words on the letter I had glanced a second before came into view in my mind and finally registered "severance".

"Dave" says my boss, the same man who was once my customer and equal, "we've got some bad news. There has been some cut backs and we are going to have to let you go."

Oh that's all.... Why all the drama? Don't you thin you could have at least done me the favor of letting me sleep in today?!? Wouldn't it have been better if you had waited until I was half way to Mexico to tell me? I thought this was something serious. As HR went through the package they were offering me the only thought going on in my head was, "Wow, this Paxil really does work." I couldn't believe it. I sort of wanted to cry but I couldn't. I think I even manage to crack a joke.

Seriously though I was panicking and scared but my outward demeanor never betrayed that. You say many things about the way I handled myself during many occasions at that place but for sure I went out with class.

I wish I could have had more time to grant my good-byes and leave a few choice words for a few of my now former co-workers by alas it was not to be. So good-bye, good luck and just because you have activated your turn indicator doesn't automatically grant you the right to get into the lane next to you.

It's a small world and a smaller industry, I'll see you all soon. In the mean time...

Know that you're loved,

D

Step one

A light breakfast and a protein shake, whey protein not the other kind ;-), AM Yoga followed by a trip to the gym and a stop at the market for lunch. Not a bad start to the weekend. Just checking in on-line, here (of course), here and here. Oh did I mention,

Darkness Comes

Things have been glum lately, and to be sure there have been more than enough issues going on that would certainly get even the best of us down but I cannot help but feel as though nothing is going right for me right now.

I do want to keep things light, pun intended, but there is the darkness that I suppose I did commit myself to acknowledging. This time of year tends to get many people blue. With the many other things that I am dealing with and the general stress from work it makes sense that I would be a bit depressed (dark) right now. Tomorrow definitely calls for a full on pick-me up day. I suppose I best get some rest so that I can be at my best in the morning.

I've heard of lesbian bed death but...

Is it possible for gay men to suffer the same fate? Don't ask me I might be a little biased.

Boing

That sound you hear is my new Year's resolution imploding. No necessarily an abject failure but I've certainly not eaten right nor have I made it to the gym yet. It can definitely be said that so far things have not gotten off to the right foot. Heck the left foot would be fine with me right now, I just need to get off of my fat ass.

Dreams

Last night I had a dream. It was possibly one of the more vivid dreams I've had in some time, and equal parts surrealism, reality, and projection.

I joined the US Marines, which trust me is not on my list of things to do before I die. I cannot think of any particular reason I would have dreamt this scenario. My twin brother is a Marine so that is the closest I can think. It is possible that it could represent a focus on the discipline of boot camp that could represent a desire to reform or change the coarse of my life.

Rather than attending boot camp at Parris Island I camped it up in Paris, France. Which begs the question, does my subconscious have a sense of humor and taste for irony? Then there is the phone call from my cell phone to A* during drill. Clearly not reality but at the same time a good representation of a conversation he and I had earlier that day. Who knows?!?

'til later, sweet dreams...

Diet Advice

Interesting read... Why Diets Fail - Men's Health. It should prove a good inspiration when the diet starts to wander. Of course I still need to pick it up to full speed but the last few days have been modestly successful so I'm not too disappointed.

Something ODD is happening to my post as there should have been two in the last few days but the just aren't showing up (they were sent via e-mail post). Hopefully this isn't a big problem as I find it rather convenient to post this way, there is something about writing an e-mail that doesn't seem to translate into posting a blog on the website.

The Big Bash meeting tonight was good. It is hard to believe that it is only two months away now. We definitely need to pick up the pace. I've got a tonne of work ahead of me. Speaking of which...

'til later,

D

Day 01

Ok so some starter information...

I've had most if not all of my priorities thrown up in the air for the last few years and things have slowly spiraled out of control. So what better time than New Year to start over and get things back on track. Now obviously this will take some amount of effort and will undoubtedly be fraught with certain hardship but in the long run I think most people will agree that this will be a good thing. The details of course will work them selves out as we move along. For now let's just try to keep our eyes on the prize.

Happy New Year!

So here we are, time for our resolutions. Some are the usual although I fully intend to keep, I've been there before so I know I can do it, plus with some of my other resolutions this may be easier than I think. So let's see...

1. Eat healthy - This isn't a diet so much as a lifestyle. It isn't as hard as you would think it simply means you need to eat in moderation and eat those things that you already know are good for you.
2. Exercise - Again not so bad when you put your mind to it. I did it for years and just got out of the habit. The two factors against me right now are the 'others' that will fail by March or so and the time that I will spend away from 'A'
3. Worry less - If I am going to live for any period of time I need to recognize that I cannot effect everything. I just need to get over it. And so I shall...
4. Love more - need I say more?!?
5. and lastly I think that I am going to stop drinking - I know, stop the presses but hey it may be a good thing for me and besides it will help with my other resolutions so it is kind of a win-win when you think about it.

So there you have it. I will try to keep ya'll up to speed on my progress. Here's hoping, eh!?!

So this is Christmas...

Actually not a bad night for a pre-Christmas party. Glad that we were able to gather as friends again for the first and in some case the last time. In many ways I know that I have learned and grown from who I've met in this last year. Love has obviously been a major part of that and I am glad for the growth if not just the love and friendship that I have benifited from in these last days. I look forward to so many more.

As always, know that you're loved.

D

WHY MOVE TO CANADA?

Reasons to move to Canada, as cited by www.canadianalternative.com:

1. Canada has universal public health care.

2. Canada has no troops in Iraq.

3. Canada signed the Kyoto Protocol environmental treaty.

4. More than half of Canada's provinces allow same-sex marriage.

5. The Canadian Senate recommends legalizing marijuana.

6. Canada has no law restricting abortion.

7. Canada has strict gun laws and relatively little violence.

8. The United Nations has ranked Canada the best country to live in for eight consecutive years.

9. Canada abolished the death penalty in 1976.

10. Canada has not run a federal deficit since 1996-97.

Gearing up for War

I've not been looking forward to this but it appears there is no real choice. I can sit by and do nothing, but I know I would regret that far more than doing what I can and failing (which I hope does not happen.) The battle for same-sex marriage here in Michigan will be on the ballot this November, making us only the third state in the union to amend their constitution to do so. It is regrettable that this has to happen but it will again put the topic front and center. I am firmly convinced that through education and personal reflection many hearts will change. Perhaps not in time for Michigan but the tide has been turning our way for some time, let's hope it keeps going that way.

D

"Cowardice asks the question--is it safe? Expediency asks the question--is it politic? Vanity asks the question--is it popular? But conscience asks the question--is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right." --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Happiness is...

Sometime we forget to pause for a moment and appreciate the simple things in life.  You know, all of the little things that while seemingly unimportant for a "big picture" point of view are the very thing that makes our life just that, our.  I like my life and am happy.  I guess sometimes I forget that.  

 

I've been feeling a little blue lately so I guess it makes sense that other have begun to pick up on it.  I know my friends are probably a touch frustrated with me and I know A* has questioned if I still love him or not.  The truth is I could be happier.  I may be frustrated from time to time but then who isn't?  Like I said.  I need to remember to measure my life against what I want and who I am rather than using others as the standard for happiness.  Who knew right?!?

 

Anyway, I hope everyone out there is happy too.

 

As always...

 

Know that you're loved.

 

D

Happy Pride!

Wow,

 

Ok so I've been away for a while.  Go figure this isn't something new.  Well that's OK cause I've been having a blast.  This last weekend at pride was the best.  My hat's off to Labatt and Molson for granting me blurred vision of the last week.  Who knew... oh wait.

 

So there is a tonne to catch up on and no time to do it.  Suffice to say there are many a tale that would be a shame it they were not shared; plus many a pic that could equally be enjoyed.  Hopefully this evening will grant be the time to journal them. 

 

Oh what fun.

 

Oh the Places You'll Go

So I'm back from Toronto. I know I didn't even mention that I went but that is because it was a bit of a spur of the moment type thing that developed while I was in Mexico. Oh Mexico, I forgot about that too...

True to form no trip to Mexico would be complete without some drama, right!?! This time I lost my passport. So let's recap: I've lost my passport, had my wallet stolen, forgotten my luggage in the back of the taxi, been on the plane during an emergency landing due to low fuel (complete with fire engines racing alongside us on the tarmac, been diverted to Memphis due to the Great Power Outage of 2003, and nearly lost my job when I told the assembly plant guard to go have sex with himself in his native language. So I'm picking up a trend here.

Anyway, Toronto was fabulous as always.  We had our fair share of drama there as well (some people just don't know their limits, others are not quite versed in proper party etiquette, but at least there is hope.)

My only hope is that we do not have a repeat at Pride.